


The Fall

by fairyteller



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, Angst, Experimentation, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Flashbacks, Imprisonment, Temporary Character Death, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-02
Updated: 2017-08-23
Packaged: 2018-10-13 22:39:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 23
Words: 24,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10523367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fairyteller/pseuds/fairyteller
Summary: When a mission gone wrong leaves Pidge dead, the team struggles to function without her. However, everything is not as it seems.





	1. The Over-A-Hundred-Foot Drop

  
Pidge slashed her bayard upwards as she spun around to face the Galra who had attempted to sneak up behind her.  
  
All they had wanted to do was free some prisoners.  
  
And then seconds after Pidge had hacked into the ships systems and learned that there wasn’t a single prisoner (not even a cell) on the ship, Galra fighters stormed in out of seemingly nowhere.  
  
Yay. A trap. Perfect.  
  
She heard the quips of her team over her coms as she continued to slash through the onslaught of Galra after Galra after Galra.  
  
Then a panicked yell.  
  
“Shiro! Watch out! Behind you!”  
  
Shiro was backing up towards a drop of about a hundred feet (not unlike the one Rover had gone down when Sendak had taken over the castle).  
  
It was Keith who had yelled. Shiro had looked behind him on instinct at the sound and frozen in place.  
  
“Shiro move!”  
  
“He must be having a flashback!” Lance’s voice sounded from somewhere.  
  
Pidge took a quick inventory of her surroundings.  
  
Lance was surrounded.  
  
Hunk was injured, but still pushing through.  
  
Shiro was frozen.

Keith was running towards Shiro, but was slowed down by Galra after Galra.  
  
Three Galra soldiers were advancing on Shiro, blasters glowing with a bright purple charge.  
  
Keith wasn’t going to make it in time.  
  
She was closer.  
  
Pidge began to run.  
She used her size to weave her way between the Galra running around. She jumped over a few bodies. A few blasts shot over her head but she ignored them and focused on getting to Shiro in time.  
  
She used all the force she could muster from her small form to slam into Shiro’s large one, effectively pushing him far from the edge, far past the soldiers, and directly into Hunk knocking both of them down.  
  
Unfortunately, the act of pushing Shiro gave little time for her to scramble out of the way of the soldier’s aim.  
  
She stumbled back to her feet in preparing to make a fruitless attempt to jump out of the way last second.  
  
Three purple blasts shot towards her.  
  
Side. Stomach. Shoulder.  
  
Shit.  
  
The impact of the blast thrust Pidge back, she felt her feet slip over the ledge, she felt air rush up around her, she felt pain, she felt her breath leave her lungs, and she felt what she assumed was the hard ground under her.  
  
Then she didn’t feel anything at all.

  
…

  
“Shiro! Watch out! Behind you!”  
Shiro turned on instinct when Keith yelled out to him, his hand glowing ready to destroy through whatever Galra dared to try and sneak up on him.  
He looked confusedly at the pillar he was facing before looking down slightly and freezing.  
  
The noise of the battle faded.  
  
The drop must have been over a hundred feet.  
  
_The drop must have been over a hundred feet._  
  
_Shiro struggled in his captures grasp._  
  
_The thing holding him simply laughed at his feeble attempts of escape._  
  
_“It tried to escape again. What should we do with it Haggar?”_  
  
_“Get rid of it.” Came the dismissive reply of the witch that had stolen his arm._  
  
_The guard chuckled again and held the struggling Shiro over the over-a-hundred-foot drop. Shiro saw the guard’s smirk as his fingers loosened from around his throat._  
  
_“No!” Shiro rasped out, his hands involuntarily grasping at the guard’s fingers._  
  
_The guard laughed again and let go._  
  
_Shiro felt the wind rush up around of him, this was the end. He’d never make it back to Earth. He’d never see his family again. Keith. Matt. The Commander._  
  
_Then Shiro felt a lurch. The air stopped moving. His head snapped up and fell down and a shot of pain shot through his neck._  
  
_He was being slowly pulled up._  
  
_“You idiot! You did not say that it was the champion!”_  
  
_Lightning cracked around the room, the guard screamed, and Shiro’s vision went black._  
  
Suddenly something small and fast hit Shiro’s side. He was propelled across the room. He hit something large and yellow that let out a grunt.  
  
He felt dazed.  
  
He heard a strangled gasp and looked up.  
  
Something small and green was standing on the edge of the over-a-hundred-foot drop.  
  
The green thing had three glowing purple holes in it, and then the green thing was no longer standing.  
  
The green thing was falling down over the ledge down, down, down into the over-a-hundred-foot drop.  
  
He knew the green thing.  
  
“PIDGE!”  
  
Shiro’s eyes widened. He disentangled himself from the yellow thing who was definitely Hunk and rushed to the edge of drop.  
  
No.  
  
It couldn’t be.  
  
_Katie._


	2. The Garrison Trio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hunk awakes and he and Lance lament on the loss of their best friend.

Lance sat outside Hunk’s healing pod, elbows on his knees and head down.  
  
It hadn’t been more than an hour. Hunk should be out any minute, he had had some fractures, cuts and bruises. When Shiro had been launched into him he had hit his head and had been knocked out.

Coran said an hour in the pod would be more than enough.

But Hunk hadn’t been awake when…

Lance squeezed his eyes shut tighter and clenched his fists.

Shiro had locked himself in his room after they got Hunk in the pod.

Keith had headed straight for the training deck, not saying a word.

Allura and Coran had solemnly retreated to the main deck.

Lance had stayed in the med bay with Hunk. Someone had to tell him.

He heard the hiss of the pod opening and snapped his head up.

He stood up and made his way over to the pod and Hunk fell out. He quickly grabbed his best friend to steady him.

“Urrggg…” Hunk groaned, “What happened?”

Lance smiled grimly. It hurt.

“Come on buddy, let’s sit down.”

He led Hunk to the couch they stationed in the med bay. No paladin liked the thought of anyone waking up alone.

“What do you remember?” Lance knew that he shouldn’t be staling. Hunk needed to know. But saying it out loud… What had happened… It made it too real.

“We went in to get some prisoners out, but it was a trap. We were fighting and suddenly Shiro hurtling towards me.”

Lance looked at Hunk. He looked confused, a little dazed.

Of course this would be hard. Pidge had been Hunk’s best friend too. The three of them, the Garrison Trio. And now…

“Yeah… Shiro wanted me to tell you he’s real sorry for that.”

“Where is he?”

“…He locked himself in his room.”

“Why?”

Lance took a deep breath. It was time to come clean.

…

Hunk was very concerned. He was always concerned for his friends.

Lance was shaking slightly. He turned his head away from Hunk, his voice come out small. Nothing like the grandiose joker Hunk had come to know.

“The reason Shiro went barreling into you was because Pidge had pushed him into you.”

Hunk felt his eyebrows pinch together.

“Shiro was cornered between some Galra and a hundred-foot drop. But he was having some kind of flashback. He couldn’t move, and it was like he couldn’t even hear us. Pidge was closest to him. She just… ran at him. And pushed him out of the way.”

“Right into me.” Hunk gave a nervous chuckle. Lance finally looked at him, his eyes filled with tears. His voice cracked with next few sentences, and so did Hunk’s heart.

“She saved him, but she took his place. There wasn’t enough time…For her to get out of the way… She’s… She’s g-gone.”

Hunk’s eye’s widened. _No._

“No. That… That’s not possible… Not Pidge.”

Lance looked away again.

“NO. I don’t… I don’t believe you! This isn’t _funny_ Lance!”

“It’s not _a joke_!”

“No! It can’t be true. Not… No… Don’t even…”

“Hunk! She’s gone! Pidge is _dead_!” Tears were cascading down Lance’s cheeks. His face flushed and red, skin angry with the salty water.

“There was no way she could have survived that fall! No way she could survived those blasts!”

“Here!” He jabbed his finger into Hunk’s shoulder.

“Here!” He jabbed his finger into Hunk’s stomach.

“Here!” He jabbed his finger into Hunk’s side.

“She’s gone! _Gone!_ And we have to fucking live with it!”

Hunk grabbed Lance and pulled him into a tight hug, tears falling down his face too.

“Why her?”

Lance reciprocated the hug and buried his head into Hunk’s broad shoulder.

“I-I don’t know.”

…

When she woke up, she didn’t know where she was. She didn’t know who she was.

She didn’t know who she was.

She was cold. Her body ached. She felt numb.

Where was she?

What had happened?

Who was she?

She concentrated very hard, blocking out the dark room and tried to remember. Something. Anything.

Three purple spikes of energy shooting towards her.

Three bursts of pain.

Falling through open air.

Nothing.

There was a heavy metal presence around her neck. A collar? A chain?

“Hello child.” A chilly voice rasped, startling her (whoever she was). “Do you want to play?”

Suddenly to room crackled to life and jolts of pain shot through her.

She screamed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Birthday to Pidge! Her gift is the gift of not being dead! Unfortunately, things won't be looking up for her for a while.


	3. She Was Just A Kid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone plays the Blame Game as the oldest of Team Volton try to deal with the lost of their youngest.

When Shiro had been on the Kerberos mission, he had gotten pretty close to the Holts.

He and Matt had been on the same team in the Garrison, and Commander Holt had been a senior officer there. He had been one of their teachers, in fact.

After about a month in space, the thrill had started to wear off. They kept themselves sane by reminiscing their lives on Earth.

And alien theories. Lots of those. It was kinda like living with two Keiths.

Shiro loved listening to the Holt’s talk about their home. The widest smiles would spread across their faces.

Identical to the grin Pidge made.

Pidge used to make.

They would go on and on about Matt’s kid sister, Katie. She was 10 years younger than Matt, and about 10 inches shorter and 10 times smarter (Commander Holt would often tease and Matt would always indigently squawk at that, but never deny it).

The Commander would always say, “Just you wait, one day, her name will be written in the stars. She’s going to do great things. Just you wait, she’s the best of us all.”

Shiro had never been sure if it the two had been exaggerating, swelled with pride and longing, until he met Pidge Gunderson.

He didn’t know right away, but it soon became clear to him. Katie Holt. And everything Matt and Sam had told him had been true.

She was brilliant, and young, and small, and so, so capable.

And now she was gone.

She had saved him, she had sacrificed herself for him. It was his fault.

And once they found the Holts, and once he told them… he would never see that smile again.

_She was just a kid._

…

Keith panted heavily, feeling the sweat fly off his body as he pivoted on his foot to stab another training bot.

_Pidge’s eyes widened._

He slashed his bayard through another one. Another bot jumped him from behind.

_Her mouth dropped slightly._

He pulled at the arms of the bot and flipped forward, landing on his back and crushing it.

_A strangled gasp fell out of her mouth._

He paused and looked around at the dozen training bots slowly advancing around him.

_She was glowing._

_He was surrounded._

He slashed and pierced and stabbed and punctured and speared. They just kept coming.

_Pidge was falling._

“Stop the simulation!”

The bots shut down instantly. Keith slowly straightened his spine. His breathing was heavy and raged. His breath coming in deep pants and huffs. His throat was dry and sweat was pouring from every inch of skin. He grabbed a towel and slung it around his neck.

He hadn't been strong enough to beat the guards that had swarmed around him. This was his fault.

He limped slowly out of the training room.

He tried not to think too much about… He tried not to think too much.

He headed towards the med bay, some Altean painkillers and some sleep is all he wanted right now.

And to not think.

Not think about-

“-ne! Pidge is _dead_!” Lance’s voice echoed through the hallways, and Keith froze.

“There was no way she could have survived that fall! No way she could survived those blasts!”

“Here!” Keith winced.

“Here!” Keith shuddered.

“Here!” Keith felt like he was going to throw up.

“She’s gone! _Gone!_ And we have to fucking live with it!” Lance’s voice almost broke Keith.

Hunk’s voice did.

“Why her?”

It came quietly, the way only Hunk could talk.

Keith left quickly before he could hear Lance’s reply, if he even gave one.

Maybe painkillers weren’t a necessity.

He tried not to think…

_She was just a kid._

…

Allura and Coran worked with a tense and uncomfortable air around them.

“Her life was too short.”

Allura’s head popped up from the console. “Yes…” She said in a small voice, “I suppose it was.”

“I was… just looking at some of her scans.” Coran said, not looking away from the projection of what had to be said scans.

“We took some of all of them before their first mission. Just to make sure everything was suitable, but I didn’t notice this.” Coran pointed at a small statistic in the corner of the screen.

Allura made her way over to him and squinted at the reading.

_Fourteen Earth Years._

That couldn’t be right.

“I’ve calculated one Earth year is about as long as one was on Altea.” Coran said quietly. “She was just a child.”

“No, that can’t be right. They should all… they should all be adults.”

Coran pulled up the other paladin’s records.

_Sixteen Earth Years._

_Sixteen Earth Years._

_Seventeen Earth Years._

_Twenty-Five Earth Years._

Allura stared in shock at the data before her.

Only Shiro was of age by Altean standards. She didn’t know what age was Earth’s requirement, but it couldn’t be as young as _fourteen_.

“She… She had barely begun to live.” Tears formed in her eyes and her throat closed. “We sent a _child_ to war… _we sent a child to her death_.”

Coran gave her a short hug, she felt some of his own tears drip into the crown of her head.

“How can I ever send the other paladins out again? They’re children. I’ve condemned them.”

“No Allura. This is not your fault.”

“Yes, it is!” She insisted. “Do not try to comfort me Coran. I assessed them, assigned them their Lions, sent them out. To their graves. I must own up to this. This is my fault. I have to go see the paladins.”

And with that she walked out, tears threatening to fall down her face.

_She was just a kid._

_..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick note: I'm kinda new to posting on ao3 so I don't know the etiquette for responding to reviews (someone pls help) so I'd like to take a moment to thank everyone who Kudo'd or bookmarked or left a lovely review (seriously what you said was so sweet thank you so much) They made me feel so warm and fluffy inside and I'm super glad you're all as excited for this as I am!


	4. The Laugh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A memory and the will to survive

They called her The Prisoner.

Noun. Prisoner [ **priz** - _uh_ -ner, **priz** -ner]

  1. A person who confined in prison or kept in custody, especially as the result of legal process
  2. Prisoner of war
  3. A person or thing that is deprived of liberty or kept in restraint.



Prisoner knew that information, but Prisoner didn’t know if that had been her name. Prisoner knew everything about anything but she didn’t know anything about herself.

She guessed that Prisoner was not her actual name. Something inside herself told her not to trust these people. Never trust these people.

Maybe it was the definition of the word they gave her. Maybe it was because of something in her past. Or maybe because they kept filling every ounce of her body with lightning, or hitting her, or cutting her, or yelling, or interrogating her about things that she couldn’t remember.

Prisoner wished she could remember. Sometimes, she could hear a laugh.

And she was happy that, if she had to only remember one thing from her entire past, that it was the laugh.

She knew it was a memory because it was lighter and happier than anything she had heard since she had woken up. The laugh of the witch was high in pitch. The other druids would watch and give small nervous chuckles, only because they knew the witch would turn on them at any moment.

The emperor’s laugh was deep and vicious, the sound could rip her apart almost as efficiently as his blade.

But the worst was the laugh of the crowd.

When the witch made her fight, the crowd would laugh and laugh as she stumbled. When her opponent landed blow after blow they would laugh.

Then her opponent would laugh, but she would eventually beat them. She had to.

The witch didn’t make her fight often. When Prisoner was particularly stubborn, the witch insisted she need to go to the arena.

But sometimes, Prisoner wanted to go and fight. She hoped that she could find information about her past, and to do that she had to leave the isolation of her cell. It was a risk, certainly, but she craved the knowledge.

On her first trip to the arena, she had been waiting with the other “bait” (as the guards called them). One of the “bait” had called her a “Tellurian” before he had been pushed into the stadium. He hadn’t lasted long.

It took two more trips to the arena before she learned what it meant.

Tellurian.

[te- **l _oo_** **r** -ee- _uh_ n]

Adjective: 1. Of or characteristic of the Earth or its inhabitants; terrestrial.

Noun: 2. An inhabitant of Earth.

Her sixth excursion to the battle ring gave her the information she required.

Earth.

The third planet closest from a yellow star in the Milky Way galaxy. Contained intelligent life.

That was where Prisoner was from.

The “bait” who had told her had wide eyes. He said the best of the best came from Earth, though other “bait” disagreed. They said Earth was named after it’s worth: Dirt. Earth was a primitive planet compared to the emperor’s territory, it was inevitable for it to be conquered soon.

But the “bait” who had told her about Earth also told her about the Champion. Master of the ring, the Champion had been captured by the witch from a moon near his home on Earth.

Her favorite stories quickly became about the Champion.

Not because of his strength, or his renown, or the fact that he was unbeaten, or even the fact that he was a fellow tellurian.

No, she loved stories about the champion because he _escaped_.

Stories varied from rouge guards to giant tellurian squids from the Milky Way trying to bring him home.

She had once attempted to ask the witch, a mistake she wouldn’t be making again.

All agreed he came and went over the span of only a year, and had survived far longer than any other fighter. She wondered how long she had been here.

She knew that any and all escape would have been fruitless. She had nowhere to go. No memory of anything other than the Galra cell and the laugh.

But there was no laughter like _the laugh_ in the prison. Cruel laughter and sadistic laughter and cackling laughter. But nothing like _the laugh_.

She had to remind herself this whenever her mind got too clouded. Whenever she lost hope or felt lost and hurt. Because if the laugh was a memory, and she was sure it was, that meant somewhere out there, there was someone who owned that laugh. And it meant she knew that someone. Someone out there knew her and had the most beautiful laugh.

And maybe they missed her.

And maybe they were looking for her.

And maybe she had a chance.

There had been a time before the cold Galra cell.

Even though she couldn’t remember her past, just knowing that it had been filled with _that_ laughter made her optimistic.

She wondered how long it had been since she had laughed. Perhaps she had a laugh like _the laugh_. Perhaps she had never laughed before. Maybe she never would again.

She imagined the Champion would have had a nice laugh.

She wondered if his laugh had been like the memories laugh. Or perhaps from ages of abuse, the Champion had forgotten how to laugh.

Prisoner didn’t know what she would do if she forgot _the laugh_.


	5. The Garrison Trio II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Physical pain and emotional pain

“TELL ME!” The witch screeched, she hands sparking with electricity.

Prisoner panted and turned her head away to spit some blood out. She dry-heaved.

“Look at me!” The witch slapped her. “Tell me about the castle!”

The witch grabbed Prisoner’s neck with her lightning slick hands and Prisoner screamed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!”  Prisoner finally choked out, “What castle?”

“The Altean Castle for the paladins!” The witch slapped her again. “Where they keep Voltron!”

The color green flashed before her eyes, a brief relief from the purple of the room, and a roar sounded in her ears, a voice. What were they saying?

The Prisoner gasped.

The witch leaned in. “Are you withholding information?”

“No… I don’t… know… anything…” Prisoner winced as she felt lightning crackle closer towards her.

Prisoner heard the _whirr_ of a machine start up and tried braced herself. It wasn’t enough for the jolt of fire that spread through her body.

Prisoner had been trapped in the purple room with the purple lighting and the purple people for a very long time. She had passed out and been re-awoken several times.

She stubbornly refused to give into the sweet call of death. She was going to get out. She was going to escape. Survive.

“Haggar.” A new voice spoke up. It was one of the witch’s druids.

“ _What?_ ” Haggar spat.

There was a pause. “Perhaps we should try the helmet?”

“Yes…” The witch mused. She grabbed the Prisoner’s chin and pulled her face in.

“We’ll get that information out of you one way or another.” She flashed a sadistic grin at Prisoner. She yanked at the chain connecting to the collar tightly around Prisoner’s neck. The witch was turning away as she pulled, yelling. “Prep the Prisoner for the helmet!”

Next thing she knew she was being pulled off the table and strapped into a chair and was being poked with needles. A big helmet was placed on her head. She noticed electric receivers sticking out.

What felt like a knife stabbing into her head began to pull data out, out, out.

Data she didn’t have, data she couldn’t remember.

Her throat felt raw and stung with pain. Was she screaming?

She thrashed about, pulling at the straps that stubbornly kept her in place.

She had never wished more that the torture would just kill her.

…

Voltron was falling apart.

Allura could often be found sitting in her father’s empty AI room, if not at the helm steering blankly ahead

Lance had all but stopped talking.

Shiro was barely seen anymore.

Keith could either be found on the training deck or in the infirmary.

Hunk locked himself in the Green Lion’s hanger.

Coran tried to pull the team together to no avail.

And Pidge was dead.

Hunk sighed as he half-heartedly tinkered with some scrap tech.

At first he hadn’t wanted to mess with any of Pidge’s stuff. After a week, he had begun pouring over her designs, it made him feel strangely closer to her in a weird way, yet he was careful not to touch any prototypes or alter any designs.

The most he would do would do was to copy her designs, and tinker with his copies. He tried not to move anything around too much. Pidge’s work was organized chaos and disturbing anything would probably offend her memory.

Pidge’s designs were amazing. There were a few engineering mistakes here and there that she had missed. One of their several late-night “sleepovers” would have these devices done in just a few hours. Now they’d never be complete.

He heard the hanger doors open, but didn’t look up. It was probably Coran, maybe he wanted Hunk’s help with something down in the engine room. Or to try and bond with Green.

They couldn’t form Voltron without Green, but neither Allura nor Coran could make a connection. Coran thought maybe it just took a little work, but Hunk had little hope.

Even though Pidge was dead, Green must have not been ready to re-bond. She stubbornly kept her particle shield up.

Most likely however, Coran was down here to pour over Pidge’s designs as well.

But it wasn’t Coran.

Lance slunk slowly into the room, he paused when he saw Hunk sitting on the floor.

“Hey Lance.”

Lance nodded, but didn’t say anything. He walked over to sit by him.

“Find anything interesting?” Hunk asked after watching Lance examine some of Pidge’s designs for a few minutes.

“Yeah…” Lance said quietly, brushing aside a design for some sort of adapter and pulling out a blueprint from under a stack of notes and equations.

Hunk blinked at the unfamiliar design. He grabbed the notes and inspected the equations.

“It looks like… a long-distance tracker.” Lance noted.

Hunk gasped. There was only one thing that Pidge would have wanted to track. Or specifically, two people. He blinked at the designs. “If she had finished this, with the correct information about who she was tracking, she could have found anyone about three galaxies away.” Hunk deflated a little. _If she had finished this._

The two sat in silence.

“I miss her.” Lance said quietly. Hunk carefully placed Pidge’s designs aside and hugged Lance. Lance buried his face into Hunk’s shoulder, but didn’t cry.

“We’re not a good team without her.”

Hunk didn’t know what to say, he just squeezed Lance tighter.

The two broke apart and stared down at the mess of Pidge’s chicken scratchs.

“Paladins,” Allura’s voice came over the intercoms. “You’re all needed in the bridge immediately.

Without saying another word, the two slowly retreated out of the hanger. Lance gave a last look over his shoulder at the Green Lion.

Her eyes bore into him.


	6. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bad times and reunions

The familiar _clunk, clunk, clun_ _k_ of heavy footsteps sounded down the corridor where Prisoner’s cell was. Prisoner curled up into a ball in the corner and prayed it wasn’t the witch. Prayed that the _clunk, clunk, clunk_  would move on, past her, _please don’t stop._

The footsteps came to an abrupt stop before her cell. Prisoner curled tighter into herself.

She relaxed slightly at the sound of the voice. It was just a guard.

Just one, they usually sent at least two to bring her to a new location.

But she didn’t fully relax. The guards had been known to stop by the cell to beat her up, just to let off some steam.

The guard began to speak. It was an announcement by the distinct pitch of reading the guard spoke in; this meant new information. She listened closely, but didn’t move.

“Haggar had decided that the Prisoner shall no longer be interrogated. It has become obvious that it has no more information to yield as it’s memory has been damaged. New experimentation will begin after the next rotation around the current stationed moon. The Prisoner will continue to be tested periodically via fighting in the arena.”

Prisoner, felt her heart clench inside her. She heard the _clunk, clunk, clunk_ of the retreating guard until it faded into a familiar silence.

_Experimentation will begin after the next rotation around the current stationed moon._

Noun. Experimentation.

[ik-sper- _uh_ -men- **tey** -sh _uh_ n, -m _uh_ n-]

  1. The act, process, proactive or an instance of making experiments



(Experiments: a test, trial, or tentative procedure; an act or operation for the purpose of discovering something unknown or testing a principle, supposition, etc.)

Prisoner shuddered. They had gotten close to killing her with the helmet. But she had hoped that if she was useless as information they would just get rid of her. Unfortunately, she was a “rare” species. Meaning all the tellurians they had previously had were gone now.

Besides the Champion, she didn’t know what had happened to the others from Earth. Maybe she would suffer the same fate.

She stared out of the small bared window and watched the moon make its slow way across the vast space that had become her sky.

…

Lance and Hunk were the last ones to arrive in the bridge.

Keith was standing with his arms crossed, leaning against a pillar. Shiro stood nearby. Lance couldn’t read the look on his face.

“I know the loss of Pidge has been very recent,” Allura said. “But we must continue our mission.”

Lance wanted to be angry. He wanted to yell at Allura but he didn’t have anything to yell. She was right. But he didn’t want her to be right.

“I received a distress message from what seems to be a large Galra pod. They informed us they were rebels that had just emancipated serval prisoners, but due to damages they need help getting to their next location.”

“Can we trust them?” Keith spoke up from his pillar.

“They’re information does seem to be in order,” Coran said. “I listened into a Galran transmission reporting missing prisoners, as well as a pod they may have escaped in with the same production number…”

“Regardless,” Allura said in that commanding voice that left no room for argument. “It’s the Paladin code to help anyone in distress.” She paused, waiting for someone to speak up. When no one did, she said, “You four will go and bring them back to the Castle.”

…

The extraction was fairly easy. No Galra in sight, and the rebels were relieved to see them. None of them were Galra, all a large mix of a variety of species.

As Hunk and Lance began filing them into their Lions and Keith monitored for any suspicious activity, Shiro went to meet the rebel leader.

One of the newly-emancipated-prisoners bumped into Shiro, he turned to apologize and then he felt a choking noise work its way out of his throat.

“Shiro?” Keith’s sounded distant in his ear.

 _Pidge_. The figure who _couldn’t be Pidge_ looked at him with big confused and curious eyes _that looked so much like Pidge’s_.

Wait.

“Matt?”

The prisoner looked extremely confused. “How do you…”

“Shiro what’s going on?” That was Hunk.

Shiro ripped off his helmet.

“Matt?”

“Shiro?”

Shiro couldn’t believe it. Fate was a cruel piece of work. Standing before him was Matt Holt. Alive and free. He had no idea that his sister…

And suddenly Matt’s threw his arms around him. “Ohmygod! I thought you were d-dead!”

Shiro blinked and shook his head to clear it.

“Matt? I… I can’t believe it! How?”

“These rebels were liberating prisoners! They already had dad when they got me.”

“Your father? He’s here too? Is he alright?”

“He’s fine, he’s fine!”

Shiro turned sharply as he heard footsteps racing down the hall.

“Shiro, are you-” Keith came to an abrupt stop and stared at Matt for longer then was socially acceptable. Shiro knew what was going through his head.

He finally tore his eyes away. “Are you alright?” Keith looked anxious.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

Keith glanced at Matt out of the corner of his eye. “Is that...?” He asked in a low voice.

Shiro simply nodded, a pained expression that Matt couldn’t see on his face. He knew Keith was thinking the same thing.

He looked back to Matt and Matt shot him a smile. Shiro’s grin faulted. It was Pidge’s smile.

“Allura says we're ready to go,” Keith said quietly. “You guys can catch up on the ship.” He gave Shiro a meaningful look.

Fate truly was a cruel son-of-a-bitch.


	7. Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's hard to explain stuff, sometimes it's even harder to listen.

Rebels safe in the castle, the next few hours were as mess of cryopods, food, and sleep.

Coran insisted that Allura take a break, that he could handle the affairs of their new guests, and she found herself sitting in the training lounge with what was left of her team.

“Allura,” Shiro said, a bittersweet and sad smile on his face. “This is Matt and Samuel Holt. My crew from the Kerberos. Guys, this is Princess Allura.”

She didn’t say anything as they greeted her politely. They looked remarkably similar to… Did he say his crew from Kerberos? That meant…

Her eyes widened and she quickly turned to face Shiro.

Keith laid his land on Shiro’s shoulder. Lance’s hand made contact with his other shoulder and Hunk’s warming presence seemed to go beyond the physical touch.

Shiro took a deep breath and looked back to the very confused Holts. “What do you know about Voltron?”

“Well,” Samuel said in a slightly amused voice. “You guys are Voltron, right? Five paladins who control giant lions that combined into a large warrior?”

“Like Power Rangers.” Matt said, grinning a little.

"I have to say, I didn't believe it at first, but after over two years out here, I think I'm ready to believe anything."

_Will you believe me when I tell you about Katie? What she did? What happened to her?_

Allura shook her head. “I don’t know what 'Power Rangers' are, but I’m not a Paladin. I pilot the castle.”

“We… lost out fifth Paladin, pretty recently.” Keith said quietly. “Her name was Pidge Gunderson, she piloted the Green Lion.”

Shiro watched to see if the name Pidge had any impact on the Holts. It didn’t. That meant this was going to be a lot harder; not that it wouldn’t have been in the first place.

“She’s… she…” Shiro couldn’t say it. He couldn’t. How was he supposed to tell them that Pidge was Katie? That the girl they were excited to go back home to was dead. _Because of him_.

“Pidge had this mission.” Hunk said, sending Shiro a sympathetic look. “Her family had been taken by the Galra. The Garrison had covered it up, but she was determined to find the truth. If it hadn’t been for her we would have never found the Blue Lion.”

“Her family were taken by the Galra?” Matt said slowly. He was smart. Even if they had tried to keep it from them, it wouldn't have lasted long. He was piecing it together.

 “She got kicked out of the Garrison the first few times she went into for information. So… she went in under a different name and gender. A boy named Pidge Gunderson.”

“Wait, so her real name wasn’t Pidge Gunderson?” Samuel asked.

It was now or never.

“No... Her name was Katie Holt. Your daughter.”

…

Hunk had to drag Lance and Keith out of the room.

They’d get their chance to talk to the Holts. But they needed to hear it all from Shiro first.

They shouldn’t intrude.

The three had almost made it to the training deck before they saw Matt Holt came barreling down the hallway.

He froze when he saw the three paladins.

“Sorry.” He mumbled awkwardly, eyes down.

“No, we’re sorry.” Keith said. He glanced Hunk before saying, “She would have been really happy to see you.”

“Yeah? Too bad, huh? I would have been really happy to see her too.” Matt said bitterly.

The four had begun to walk down the corridor.

“She joined the Garrison to find you,” Lance said. “She never stopped looking.”

“Yeah,” Matt let out a small laugh. “That sounds like Katie.”

 “She piloted Green,” Lance added. “She’s the smallest lion, and left arm when we make Voltron…” He tapered off. They couldn’t make Voltron anymore.

“Do you want to meet her?” Hunk said suddenly. “Green, I mean.”

Matt hesitated before nodding in agreement.

They didn’t talk the rest of the walk to Green’s hanger.

“This is Green.” Hunk finally spoke as he opened the hanger doors.

Green stood behind her particle bubble. She hadn’t moved since they had first come in here after they lost Pidge.

Lance didn’t enter the hanger with them. He stood at the doors and stared into Green’s eyes.

“The lion of inquisitiveness, intellect, and daring. Guardian of Nature and the Forest.” Hunk said. “Meet Green.”

Matt poked the particle bubble. A ripple spread across the dome but Green made no signs of life.

Matt stared into Green’s eyes. “What is this thing?”

“Uhh… a giant green lion?” Keith sounded confused, “Hunk just said, Guardian of Nature and the Forest, left arm of Voltron…”

“No, no. The shield… Why is she shielded?”

“Oh, that’s her particle shield. All the lions have it, they put it up to protect themselves when we’re not flying. It’s pretty efficient to keep the Galra out.”

“But why is it up on the ship? Shouldn’t it be safe here?”

“Yeah, but… Well we think it’s because Pidge…” Hunk didn’t know how to say it. “When we first found all the lions they were like this… We think… We think she’s waiting for her next paladin.”

Matt froze, and took a step away from the lion.

“Guys…” Lance said from his position at the door. “I know this sounds crazy, but it feels like Green is trying to tell me something.”

Hunk looked at Lance, who seemed to be in the middle of a staring contest with the robotic lion.

He followed Lance’s gaze and stared into Green’s eyes. They were glowing yellow which was unusual because usually when the lions were in stasis, they turned completely off. He’d have to look into that.

Matt looked into the eyes of the lion as well. “We both lost someone pretty important, huh?” He mumbled, so quiet that the others wouldn’t have been able to hear him even if they had been standing right next to him. He pressed his forehead against the particle barrier.

“I guess she’d have wanted us to stay strong, don’t you think?”


	8. Silence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More bad times and a mission.

The witch was pouring lightning into Prisoner’s body.

This was different the electricity that she used during Prisoner’s torture sessions. This coursed through her veins and took every ounce of her being hostage. It replaced her heartbeat and rewrote her DNA.

Prisoner had long ago stopped screaming. The witch continued until Prisoner was sure her mind was nothing but lightning.

When the witch finally let up, Prisoner felt her body relax. She sagged in her restraints and her chest heaved with deep breaths.

Suddenly the witch slashed her face with a blade. Prisoner let out a yell and felt the lightning again.

Except this time, it wasn’t from Haggar.

It was from Prisoner’s own hands.

Prisoner couldn’t help herself. She let out a cry of distress and stared up disbelievingly at her own hands. She tried to pull away at her restraints, tried to get away from the treacherous hand.

Haggar smiled and turned to leave the room, as the doors opened and she stepped out, she said, “Call the guards. The experiment needs to be tested.”

Prisoner could hear Haggar’s cackling laugh get quieter and quieter as she retreated down the hall.

The silence that followed was unbearable.

…

Matt was making it pretty obvious that he was avoiding Shiro.

He would leave whenever Shiro would enter. He wouldn’t respond if Shiro spoke to him. He wouldn’t even look at him.

It was honestly driving Shiro insane. He knew he couldn’t complain. It was his fault that Matt’s little sister was dead.

Within the course of a week they had delivered the rebels to allied planets that could either enroll them in the fight against Zarkon, or send them home.

The Holt’s decided to stay with Voltron.

“I want to be sure you understand,” Allura had explained, “that we cannot take you back to Earth. If you want to return home you must go with the other rebels. Our ship is the most wanted in the galaxy. We do not want to bring any extra Galra attention to your planet.”

“We understand. We want to stay.” The Commander had said, Matt nodding behind him. They didn’t say why.

Allura gave them a strange look, but didn’t say another word about it.

…

“Matt.” Samuel fixed his son with a worried glance. “What’s going on with you?”

“What do you mean?” Matt replied with an edge of aggressiveness.

“You’re giving Shiro the cold shoulder. You two were almost inseparable at the Garrison.”

“He’s the reason Katie’s… gone.” Matt’s voice came quietly, his back to his father. “I don’t think I can _ever_ look at him again.”

“Matt…”

“No, dad! I don’t understand why you’re not upset about this!” He turned to glare at his father.

“Katie shouldn’t have been out here _at all!_ She should have been back on Earth with mom, or at school, or in some lab making some amazing world changing tech!” Tears welled up in his eyes. “She became a _soldier_ , dad! She fought the _Galra_ and _died_.”

Sam let his son get his berede off his chest. “Son, you know what Katie’s… what Katie was like.”

He smiled fondly at his son, his eyes filled with sorrow. “She’d make a goal and she’d achieve it no matter what. Nothing could stop her. She was always going to go to space one day, and look at all the lives she’s saved. The people shes inspired. She wrote her name in the stars. She did something that made the while universe take notice.” Matt looked away, fists clenched tightly.

Sam put his hands on his sons shoulders and waited until Matt (his now only child) looked up at him. "Even if we hadn’t been taken by the Galra, you couldn’t have stopped her from coming out here sooner or later, Matt. And I’m sure she didn’t regret any of it. Not even for a second.”

…

That night they all ate dinner together for the first time since the rescue.

Allura noticed that Samuel was making a conscious effort to talk to Shiro. Keith looked antsy.

The air was tense.

Suddenly, Matt slammed his fist down on the table, rattling the bowls of goo and sending the mice scurrying.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Allura sighed. She knew this was coming

“This it was my fault.” Said Allura. “I was the one that assigned the mission that got her killed. I cannot blame my ignorance, but I had no idea she was such a young child. If I had known…”

“No Allura, it was my fault-”

“What, Keith? Why would it have been your-” Lance sounded shocked.

 “No. It was my fault. I was cornered and she sacrificed herself to get me out.” Shiro said. His voice shook and he looked away.

“If I hadn’t made her a paladin she would have never been out there!”

“Allura you know it’s not that simp-”

“No. It was my fault.” Keith interrupted, “I couldn’t get to her in time to get her out of the way.”

“There was no time!” Lance argued. “You _both_ would have ended up dead!”

“ _Shut up_.” Matt’s voice was quiet and filled with rage. “I can’t stand this.” He looked at Shiro for the first time since he learned Katie had died.

“I know it wasn’t your fault.”

The table looked at him slack-jawed. His father sent him a proud smile.

“Or yours.” He looked at the princess.

“Or yours.” Keith avoided his gaze

“And if I… If I knew Katie at all, she’d hate that you’re all blaming yourselves. Katie made her own choices. She’s always been like that. I wasn’t there, but I know that this isn’t any of your faults.” He looked around the table. “It’s the Galra’s. And they’ve got hell to pay.”

A different kind of silence fell over the table.

“What’s our first move?” It was Coran. He had stood up and was looking over the table in determination.

“The arena.”

“What?” Shiro finally turned his head back towards Matt.

Even the Commander looked a little worried.

“Every fighter in that ring is a prisoner. Just like we were. Kidnapped and forced to fight and die for the pleasure of the Galra.”

“You want to liberate them.” Allura clarified.

She looked around the table, joining Coran on her feet, “What do you think?”

There was a brief silence, and then Hunk stood.

“For Pidge.”

Lance grinned and stood up too.

“For Pidge.”

Keith smirked and shook his head, standing as well.

“For Pidge.”

Shiro placed his hands on the table and stood.

“Then let’s go.”


	9. It's A Big Universe; Coincidences Happen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A peek at The Prisoner in the ring and the return of the laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Believe it or not, the fourth paragraph (going by number of indents, not sentence length) was the first thing I wrote for this entire story. When I was editing this chapter I was surprised to find it was totally unchanged, and didn't expect it to be so far into the story. Those two sentence were the first, and I kinda built the story around them. From those two sentence steamed this whole crazy adventure, and they were just some quick inspiration I got on a restless night! Always write down things like that, you never know what would come out of it.
> 
> Now I've finished my (hopefully) inspirational thought dump, let's get on with the story!!

Shiro gave a shudder. He had to remind himself his was just a spectator this time.

_They were back in the arena._

Shiro watched as the Galra pulled in the first fighter. “Fresh meat”. Then the second.

Two Galra were holding up the upper-arms of a small prisoner, their feet dangling a few inches off the ground as the Galra marched towards the center of the arena. Their head was bent down and their hair was matted with blood.

For some reason the crowd went insane when seeing them. It wasn’t the kind of cheering they had been doing for the previous “fresh meat”. They were excited to see this one fight… again.

This was the new Champion. Shiro briefly heard the announcer call them “The Prisoner”.

Shiro couldn’t believe that though. The prisoner that was now being roughly tossed into the ring collapsed as it hit the ground. They weakly struggled to stand, staggering on their feet.

They were covered in scars. Burns. They were so small.

Their head was still bowed as their large opponent was shoved into the arena.

The Prisoner took off sprinting towards the opponent. They were weaponless, but they were very quick. They ducked under the swinging arm of the large alien and scurried up it’s back.

They grabbed the sides of the alien’s head and began to tug in seemingly random directions. Their opponent’s feet followed their head as the Prisoner took them in twists and turns around the stadium.

The Prisoner ran the alien towards a wall and jumped off it’s back, using their feet to push it fast and hard into the wall. There was a spark of what looked to be lightning that Shiro barely saw disconnect from the Prisoner and their opponent as they dropped to their feet and tripped the alien as it stumbled backwards.

The giant crashed down, defeated. It didn’t get back up.

“Holy crow!” Lance yelled over the sounds of the cheers around them. Galra handlers dragged the opponent out of the arena while The Prisoner stood stagnant in the center of the arena.

The team watched The Prisoner win fight after fight. They took their opponents faster than was humanly possible. Efficient and ruthless, Shiro recognized the signs. As he watched closer he studied the calculated, almost robotic like movements. Druid enhancement. Not fun stuff.

...  

They managed to sneak through the crowd as they filed out at the end of the fight. They broke into the large ship that held the prisoners that were in line for the next round of fights.

Keith and Shiro headed towards the engine room, Matt yelling directions from his positions the castle in their ears.

Lance and Hunk headed towards the cells.

They made quick work of it. Shiro, Keith, and Matt were ever present whispers in their heads.

Lance finally pulled open the last cell. “Come on! We’re here to get you out!”

There was a small thing in the corner that didn’t move.

“Hey, can you hea-” Suddenly Lance felt small hands on his chest. He was roughly shoved backwards and heard the cell door slam back shut.

“What are you-”

“You need to get out of here.” A small, coarse voice spoke. It was the prisoner. They were grasping the bars. Lance could see that they were still pulling in, even though the door was already fully closed.

“Hey… It’s okay. We’re here to rescue you.”

The prisoner was very small. They’re hair was matted with so much blood and dirt he wasn’t quite sure what color it originally was. They’re head was down so Lance couldn’t see their face, but he recognized them as the victor from the arena.

They shook their head.

“No, you don’t understand. You need to go.”

“Shiro.” Lance spoke into his com. “We’ve got a problem.”

“What’s wrong?” Shiro sounded like he was running.

“This last prisoner, they won’t come.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, but I don’t think we can leave them, they’re the winner from today…”

Shiro went quiet. “I’m on my way, work on getting them out best you can.”

Lance focused his attention back on the small form.

“Hey,” he said awkwardly. “What’s your name? I’m Lance.”

“Prisoner.” They said shortly. “You need to go.”

“Your name is ‘Prisoner’?”

“No! Yes! Yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. My name is Prisoner. And you need to go.”

Lance paused. “Look, whatever they’re doing to you, it’s not okay. We can help you find somewhere safe to go. But you have to come with me.”

…

Prisoner shook her head again. “No, I have to stay here.”

What the witch had done to her… She wasn’t safe for anyone to be around. She was dangerous. A weapon. She could hurt someone. Someone innocent. She _had_ to stay in this cell and the so-called defender of the universe had to go.

Her hands hummed with electricity, they flickered with lightning and she quickly let go of the metal bars. The paladin yelped and took a step back. Maybe now he’d see.

But the blue figure didn’t understand. Prisoner needed to stay here. She needed to. There was no escape from here and Lance needed to leave before Haggar returned.

Then she heard the sound of running feet nearby and felt her heart drop. The blue figure spun around, readying his weapon. He lowered it when he saw it was not a guard, but a figure in similar armor. Black instead of blue.

“Shiro!” The blue paladin laughed. He kept talking but Prisoner couldn’t hear what he was saying. Her fingers tightened around the bars. She felt herself freeze and her breathing wasn’t correct.

Laughter. [ **laf** -ter, **lah** f-]

Noun.

  1. The action or sound of laughing
  2. An inner quality, mood, disposition, etc., suggestive of laughter; mirthfulness
  3. An expression or appearance of merriment or amusement
  4. An object of laugher; subject or matter for amusement



That laugh. _The laugh._ They were the _same_.

Prisoner suddenly snapped her head up to get a better look at the one in blue. _Lance_. He had said his name was _Lance_. She tried to remember. He was the owner of the laugh? A Paladin?

Her focus on _Lance the owner of the laugh_ , Prisoner didn’t notice the figure in black take a step forward.

Through the muffled pressure compressing around her, she barely heard a single word fall simultaneously out of black and blue’s mouths. A familiar word. A name?

_“Pidge?!”_


	10. What Have You Done?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro and Lance get a sample at how much Haggar messed up Pidge.

“Shiro!” Lance couldn’t help but let loose a laugh of relief. This “Prisoner” had been freaking him out. They had said their name was Prisoner, and had insisted that they stayed imprisoned. And they could create lightning with their fingers. Whatever the Galra had done to them could not have been good.

“Holy crow, thank God it’s you. This is the victor from the ring today, but they refuse to come with us. Shiro... they're _human_ , and I think that-” Lance trailed off as he saw Shiro’s eyes widen. He followed his gaze to the prisoner in the cell.

They’re head angled up so for the first time ever Lance could see their face. He couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped his lips at the sight.

Prisoner’s face was covered in scars and bruising. Blood and dirt. Lance expected that. But what he didn’t expect were the large familiar eyes.

The honey colored orbs were dead and empty. Lifeless and devoid of all spark they might have once held. And they were fixed on him.

Lance heard Shiro take a sharp intake of breath. The word fell out of their mouths at the same time.

_“Pidge?!”_

She didn’t respond. She just kept staring.

“Pidge? Shiro took a cautious step closer to the cell. “Is it really you? H-how is this even possible?”

She didn’t even spare Shiro a glance. Her eyes were locked on Lance. She was examining him, and Lance thought he saw a little of their old calculating nature. It was gone in an instant however.

The prisoner who just _had_ to be Pidge’s eyes finally released Lance from her gaze as she looked down the hallway towards the sound of footsteps.

Shiro broke his gaze away from Pidge as he faced the end of the corridor, arm ready.

Quicker than a blink Lance and Shiro were pinned against the wall. Lance felt his head slam against the metal war and saw stars. Through his daze, he heard the prisoner that had to be Pidge scream.

…

The idiot should have listened to her.

The witch had heard of the outbreak and returned to collect her “Prized Prisoner” before the Paladin’s could. If the _[owner of the laugh]_ idiot had just _listened_ to her…

The witch restrained the intruders against the wall and snarled at Prisoner.

Her left hand occupied with keeping the Paladin’s from moving, the witch wrapped the fingers of her right hand around Prisoner’s neck.

The jolt of lightning that followed made Prisoner scream.

“Pidge!” The black paladin yelled, his voice tight as he struggled against his invisible bonds.

She gasped as Haggar released her, staggering backwards, away from the witch and the bars of the cell.

“Champion,” She taunted, her voice silky and rough at the same time. “It’s been too long.”

 _Champion?_ Prisoner’s chest constricted against her labored breaths and she trained her eyes on the black paladin. He was glaring at the witch. _Why would he ever come near this place again?_ Prisoner wondered. _He got out. He escaped. Why did he come back?_

“What did you do to her, Haggar?” The Champion ground out, panting heavily. “What have you done?”

The witch laughed and Prisoner flinched away.

“I enhanced her, dear Champion. Her potential… She is strong. She is a more powerful weapon then you ever were.” The witch smirked. “And I’m afraid you cannot take her.”

Prisoner’s back hit the wall of the cell as the witch advanced upon her.

“No, no please.” Prisoner cried out as Haggar grabbed her by her hair and pulled her out of the cell.

“ _Pidge_! Let her go!” The black paladin yelled, Prisoner noticed that the blue paladin _[the owner of the laugh]_ was unconscious.

“Let me show you what she can do.” The witch growled.

She sharply prodded Prisoner in the small of her back.

Prisoner had slowly begun learning how to control what the witch had forced upon her. But she was still dangerous. Unpredictable. And Prisoner didn’t want to do it, but orders were orders.

She raised her hand out in front of the paladin and allowed the lightning to spread through her body. Crackling at her fingertips and dancing across her forearm. She took a deep breath as she took aim.

The paladin’s eyes widened.

There was something familiar about those eyes.

Prisoner stumbled backwards, the lighting shooting from her hand missed the paladin and she crashed into the witch who screeched in anger.

“Why you _insolent little-_ ”

She banged Prisoner into the cell bars next to them and sent lightning coursing through her body.

She could barely hear the paladin’s yells over the sound of her own screams and the incessant hum that filled her ears.

She was suddenly falling. All she could hear was white noise and she couldn’t see anything. She could feel her hands and knees hit the floor and she tried to empty the contents of her already empty stomach. She tasted blood on her lips.

Suddenly there was another sensation besides the nothing and the pain.

A touch. Gentle. Unlike anything she had ever remembered feeling.

“Pidge, are you alright?”

It was the Champion’s voice.

She forced her gaze up to look at him. She noticed that Lance _[the owner of the laugh]_ had gotten to his feet because he was standing behind the Champion looking worried.

Her breath caught as she saw Haggar collapsed in a pile nearby on the floor. This was _not_ good.

“What have you…” She panted. “What have you done?”

“What do you mean? Are you okay?” The paladin extended a hand to help her up but she pushed it away and crawled towards the witch.

“What did you do?” She muttered, “no, no, no.” She could still feel the witch’s life force, so she was still alive.

“We have to go.” Lance _[the owner of the laugh]_ said anxiously.

“No!” She cried out, pushing herself to her feet and edging her way back to the cage. “You don’t understand, I’m _dangerous_. I’m a _weapon_.” Haggar kept her in check. She created Prisoner and she could stop her if need be. “You need to go.”

“Pidge, we’re here to help, it’ll be okay-”

“ _Who is Pidge_?” She cried exasperatedly. “My name is Prisoner and _you have to go_.”


	11. What Did They Do (To You)?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance and Shiro get a bigger hint on how messed up Haggar made Pidge

“Who is Pidge?” She cried exasperatedly. “My name is Prisoner and _you have to go_.”

Lance gawked at her.

Pidge (because it _had_ to be Pidge) had begun to slowly edge her way back to the cell. If she got back in they’d be back at step one.

She looked feverish. They needed to go.

Shiro took another tentative step towards her, arms outstretched as if he was trying to tame a wild horse.

Lance carefully tiptoed around Haggar’s un-moving form and towards the cage. If he got to it before she could reach it then she couldn’t lock herself in.

Pidge snapped her head towards Lance, sensing his movement, and he froze. Her honey orbs fixed on him. She seemed to forget what was going on for a moment.

“Who are you?” She muttered, almost to herself. “Why did you sound like _them_?”

Shiro briefly caught his eyes and nodded. Lance got the message. Keep her distracted.

“Like who?” Lance asked tentatively.

Pidge narrowed her eyes. “Like _them_. The…” Her voice faded away and she looked down. She seemed to be thinking.

“You sounded like… Your… _Laugh_. It sounded like…” She rose her gaze, eyes still narrowed, amber orbs darting around taking in every inch of his face.

“Do I… Did I know you?” She whispered, definitely to herself.

Lance didn’t mean to spook her. He really didn’t. But he was so excited because _holy crow he missed her_. “Yes! Yes, it’s me! Lance! Do you remember anything?”

Pidge gasped and backed up straight into Shiro who had begun to discretely inch closer to Pidge.

She screamed and spun around to face Shiro. On instinct Shiro dropped his hands onto Pidge’s shoulders in an act to placate her and she screamed even louder.

It seemed her body had gone into defense mode on its own. Lighting surrounded her, it ricocheted off the walls and hit Shiro’s metal arm. The arm glitched out and shut down.

“Pidge!” Shiro yelled, trying to shield his face from the flying sparks with his right arm, his Galra one hanging limply at his side.

She was hysterical, her chest heaving and eyes tight shut, her hands over her ears and her lips moving with no words coming out.

Lance looked helplessly at Shiro.

Shiro began to try to make his way towards Pidge. His arm was dead weight, and her lightning was unpredictable and out of control.

But just as suddenly as it had started, the lighting ended.

Pidge’s face relaxed. Her knees buckled and she fell forward, unconscious.

Lance sent Shiro a bewildered look and then the two of them heard shuffling behind them.

Haggar had made it back to her feet, her hand up; directed at Pidge. “Like I said, Champion,” she rasped. “I’m afraid you cannot take her.”

Lance darted forward, scooping Pidge up bridal style in his arms. “Yeah, I don’t think so man.”

Shiro rushed at Haggar, swinging his no longer operational arm at Haggar’s face. The heavy and charred metal smacked her backwards, knocking her hard against the wall and rending her unconscious once again.

“Come on!” He nodded towards the hallway, “You got her?”

Lance nodded, looking down to Pidge’s prone figure. If he didn’t know better, he would say she looked peaceful. But he knew her, and though he didn’t know exactly what had happened to her, he knew she had been through hell.

“Lance! Let’s go!” He and Shiro took off down the hall.

He chanced another glance at her unconscious form in his arms as they ran.

“Oh Pigeon,” he whispered under his breath. “What did they do to you?”

“Matt!” Shiro yelled into the com. “We need an extraction point!”

“Shiro! There you are, what’s going on your com has been offline for ages!”

“We got held up, but we need an extraction point _now_. We have an unconscious prisoner.”

Keith’s voice crackled to life in Lance’s ear, “Okay, main console’s got the device strapped on. We’ve got T-minus 5 minutes until ship goes ‘boom’. I’m heading towards Red now, east hanger.”

“No, no.” Shiro increased his speed, it was hard because his arm was weighing him down yet Lance still struggled to keep up and not drop Pidge. “We’re on the west side, we’d never make it in time.”

“Wait!” Lance panted. “Wait, Blue is parked near here. Hunk! We gotta go, where are you?”

“I met up with Keith while you were off your coms, I already packed the prisoners into the escape pods and shipped them off, you’re free to go.”

“Hunk you are an angel.” Lance wheezed. “Truly a cinnamon roll… too pure for this world…”

“We’re not even on a planet right now.”

“Shut up and let me have this.”

Blue came into view, her partial field dutifully falling as Lance came near.

She bent and opened her mouth and aloud Shiro and Lance to run in without needing to stop. Lance quickly handed Pidge off to Shiro, who struggled to keep her from slipping out of his one-armed grasp without hurting her, and dropped into the pilot’s seat.

Without sparing a second he kicked Blue off as fast as possible out of the hanger. They rocked towards a wormhole that popped into view, Red beating them through by milliseconds. They heard the beginnings of an explosions before the wormhole closed.

Red had immediately gone to communicate with the escape pods in order to direct them to the same planets that they had sent the rebels.

Lance sent Blue towards her hanger. They needed to get Pidge in a pod.

The rest of the team met them in the hanger. As Lance began to carefully collect Pidge from Shiro, Red landed heavily next to them.

“Great job guys!” Matt grinned as the four paladins existed their lions.

“Lance! You were totally booking man, what was the hurry-” Hunk faltered. Staring at the heap in Lance’s arms. “Is that…”

The rest of the team glanced over. Allura’s eyes widened and she ran over for closer inspection.

“This… This can’t be possible!”

“S-She n-needs a pod,” Lance gasped. “Quick.”

“What’s going on?” A voice sounded. Was that Matt? Maybe Sam? Lance wasn’t sure, his vision was dotted with black splotches and all noise was fading away. If keeping Pidge safe wasn’t anchoring him right now he’d be spiraling down on the spot.

As soon as Pidge was collected (presumably by Coran) out of Lance’s arms, Lance collapsed.

He felt arms catch him before he hit the floor, and someone was half dragging him half carrying away. He heard a familiar voice mutter almost bitterly “you better not forget this damn bonding moment you idiot” before he blacked out.


	12. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the eye of the hurricane there is quiet. But eventually the hurricane will move, and then you won’t be in the eye anymore, and then there won’t be quiet.

There was an odd sort of calm that had settled over the team.

Coran had dragged the couches from the training deck into the med bay. Hunk sat on Shiro’s right, tinkering away at his now useless arm. Matt sat on his left, his leg bouncing in anticipation, his eyes locked on Pidge’s pod.

Lance had fallen out of his pod fairly quickly. Just some head injuries, nothing the pod couldn’t handle. He joined the team on the couch, sitting next to Keith and staring intently at the Pidge.

 “So… Pidge has been… alive… this whole time.” Hunk had squinted at the pod. “How is that possible?”

“We don’t know,” Said Coran. “Hopefully she can tell us when she wakes up.”

“I don’t know…” Shiro had said. “She seemed pretty out of it. She didn’t know her name or who we were.” He paused, and chanced a glance to the Holts. Matt was glaring down at his hands, and Sam was examining Pidge’s face through the glass with glossy eyes.

“She said her name was ‘Prisoner’, and she though she didn’t seem to want to go with Haggar, she was pretty upset when we knocked her out.” He paused again remembering the look on her face as she had yelled ‘ _You don’t understand, I’m dangerous. I’m a weapon. You need to go’_. “She called herself a weapon.”

“What did they do to her?” Matt grumbled, not looking up from her hands. Samuel’s eyes were filled with tears as he stared at the young girl. His daughter. She was alive.

“Allura,” Shiro said suddenly. “How does one become a druid?”

Allura looked startled by the question. “Oh, well I’m not entirely sure,” She said cautiously. “Most are born with it I believe.”

“Well,” Coran interjected. “There is one way you can _become_ a druid, it’s extremely rare and very painful. Not many survived the process so King Alfor had it banned.”

Shiro looked back at Pidge. He studied her face, marred with scars. Scars ran up her neck from under the medical suit they got her in. The collar she had worn had been particularly hard to get off, but thankfully didn’t seem to have left any harm. It seemed to be more of an ornamental piece. Or maybe a mark. To show that she was owned by the Galra.

“When we found her, she could… well I wouldn’t say control, but she could produce lightning. She could only kinda control it. And Haggar said she had turned her into a weapon.”

“You don’t think…” Allura looked horrified.

“I do.” Shiro said grimly, before adding. “She seemed to recognized Lance though; sort of.”

“The way she was looking at me…” Lance spoke softly. “It was just like the way Green was looking at me in the hanger.” He sent a glance to Hunk. “Do you think she knew? Green? This whole time?”

“That would explain why she didn’t power off, but why put up the partial shield at all?”

“Why, her bond with Pidge of course!” Coran said, “Pidge and Green had a very strong bond, and if Shiro is correct in assuming that she had druid conditioning… well that can be very painful. The lions shouldn’t be exposed to that much lightning. Not good for their systems, you know. The partial barrier could be a measure of self-defense.”

Hunk dropped Shiro’s arm. “That’s the best I can do, it should function fine. I wish I could have had Pidge’s input… but this will have to do.”

Shiro nodded to Hunk, who’s hands were fidgeting with a need to be doing something.

“You said she was the victor?” Keith said suddenly, pulling Shiro’s attention from his arm. “From today?”

“Yeah… The new Champion.” Shiro said absently, running his flesh hand over the smooth metal of his arm, remembering the subtle lighting that Pidge had used to win every fight. If you didn’t know how the arena worked (and Shiro _knew_ how the arena worked) you probably wouldn’t have noticed.

“They made her fight,” Matt’s voice was quiet in the way that meant he was talking to himself. “They made her _fight_ for her life and _kill_ for her life.”

Shiro sent him a sad glance that Matt missed. Shiro had saved Matt from the horrors of the ring, but he couldn’t save Pidge.

“How much longer, Coran?” Hunk sounded impatient and nervous.

“Well that leads us to a bit of good news and a bit of bad news.”

“How can there be more bad news?” Lance said almost inaudible.

“The good news is that it’s only going to take a couple of your Earth days! Most of her physical wounds have long healed. Bad news: the pods can’t do anything for her… mental state. Or memory.”

“So be prepared,” Shiro said, mustering up his leader voice despite how vulnerable this whole situation made him feel. “She’s not going to trust us. She’s not going to recognize us. More likely than not she’s going to try to fight us.”

Even though everyone knew that Pidge was well care for in the pod, and would be a while before she came out, nobody moved to stand for a long time.

Not only was it an unspoken rule in the castle that no one was to be pulled out of cryosleep to an empty room, but they were also too worried about Pidge when she did come out.

A grim and determined air settled around the team as they all turned their faces back to Pidge’s, knowing that relaxed face she wore in stasis wouldn’t last long.


	13. Pidge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is no such thing as calm after the storm, there is a whole new storm. Recovery is slow and difficult, and it requires listening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Get ready, this is a long one. Honestly, it should be two chapters, but I didn't want to split it up.

When Prisoner woke up, she knew something was off.

It was quiet. It was never quiet in the prison. There was always screaming or yelling somewhere.

It was also cold. Not that that was unusual, but this was a different kind of cold. Her body didn’t ache. Strange. Usually when she was reawakened she still felt the pain from the latest torture.

And that was another thing. Where were her tortures? There were usually already prodding at her by now.

And how long ago did she pass out? It can’t have been instantaneous. There was this feeling she got whenever she got reawakened too closely to the moment she passed out. How long had it been? Hours? Days? Weeks?

She heard a _hiss_ and she was suddenly falling. She felt hands catch her under her arms. Prisoner instinctively began to fight them off. They must be the torturers. She tensed her muscles in anticipation for a kick, punch, slice, or jolt of lighting in an attempt to subdue her. It never came. The torturers were trying to be as gentle as possible as she struggled, elbowed, and kicked.

She cried out as a shock of lighting made its own way out of her body, sending fire to her limbs and pushing outwards. The torturers (who were really terrible torturers because they were being much too tender) almost let go of her in surprise. That was another thing. They should have known what the witch was doing to her. Her experiment. They should know. _What was going on?_

There were muffled voices speaking into her ears, pulling her up off the feet that wouldn’t support her weight at this moment. _What were they saying?_

They were handling her much more carefully than Prisoner ever remembered being handled. They set her down gently on something soft, making sure she was sitting up by herself before hesitantly retreating their hands. Not a metal examination table. Not a metal chair. _What was going on?_

She froze her struggles as they let go. Should she run? Where would she even go? Before she did anything, she needed to know what was going on. Prisoner strained her ears, trying to distinguish what the voices _who were obviously not her torturers_ were saying.

_“-idge? Are you okay? Can you hear me?”_

_“Pidge?”_

_“Can she hear us?_

_“Katie?”_

She remembered to open her eyes.

She had to choke down the gasp that tried to escape her throat. _What was this place?_

She was scared of this place. It was big and not purple and the air wasn’t thick with screams and blood and is was so, so _familiar_ that it made Prisoners head ache.

Why was it familiar?

There was no stopping the next gasp that fought its way out of Prisoner’s throat as a face suddenly swam into her line of sight.

_“Katie?”_

Prisoner immediately stood. Maybe too quickly because she could briefly feel and see her world tilt. Alarmed voices cried out around her but she recovered quickly. You had to recover quickly if you were Haggar’s plaything.

“Katie, are you okay?”

She looked up at the owner of the voice. She had only seen a reflection of herself once. The alien in the arena had been made of some sort of reflective material identifiable as ‘mirrors’. Prisoner had been startled then and she was startled now.

The owner of the voice looked just like the her she had seen in the alien mirror. But their eyes were less haunted. Their face was less marred.

“Pidge?” She turned around and saw _Lance the owner of the laugh_ looking at her with concern.

“What’s going on?” She tried to say it with an edge, hoping that she didn’t sound to vulnerable. _Run. Just run._ “Where am I? Who are you?” She directed the questions at the Champion. He had a leader-ish air to him.

He took a step closer to her and she rose her hands in defense. Everyone took a step back. So, they _did_ know. She let the lightning spark at her fingers. _Just in case_.

“My name is Shiro, and this is my team,” The Champion said carefully. So she was right, he was a leader. “We’re on a ship. We rescued you from Haggar three days ago.”

Prisoner nodded slowly. She took another step away from the people surrounding her. “And what do you want with me?”

They seemed taken aback at the question, looking at each other as if trying to find the easiest way to explain it all.

“What do you remember?” A woman with long white hair and a regal tone asked.

She eyed the woman suspiciously. “What do you mean? I remember you guys _kidnapping me_ if that’s what you’re asking.”

“No, no. And we didn’t kidnap you Pidge, we rescued you. I mean before that. What do you remember about yourself? Maybe the clearer question is what do you _know_ about yourself?”

_What do I know about myself? What kind of question is that?_

“My name is Prisoner. I don’t know who this _Pidge_ is, but I’m not them.”

A sad look crossed the woman’s face. A similar look passed over the faces of her companions.

“Do you remember anything before you came into Haggar’s… care?” The woman struggled saying the word ‘care’, as if the word left a bad taste in her mouth.

“There is nothing before the Galra.” _Three purple spikes of energy shooting towards her. Three bursts of pain. Falling through open air. Nothing._

“You said you recognized me.” Lance _the owner of the laugh_ said suddenly. “How could you have remembered me if there was nothing before the Galra?”

Prisoner went quiet. _If he_ is _the owner of the laugh, then who are these people? Do they really know me?_ “What do you want with me?” She repeated. “You know what I am, don’t you? What she did to me? So, what do you want with me?”

“Pi- …Prisoner,” a large man dressed in yellow said, choking on her name. “We know you. You’re not a ‘what’. You’re a person! And you know us, or at least, you used to. We don’t want to _use_ you for anything.”

“You were part of our team,” a man dressed in red who she almost didn’t notice spoke. “We thought you died.”

“You… I… _what_?” Prisoner felt panic rising in her chest, but she wasn’t sure why. _Run. Get away. Run._

 _What a stupid idea._ Her own voice argued. _You don’t know where you are. They’d catch you._

_Run. Get away from their lies and their kindness. You don’t deserve kindness, you’ll just hurt them. You’re dangerous. Haggar’s weapon._

She tried to shake the voices out of her head, well aware that the group around her eyed her wearily.

“Your name is Katie. We call you Pidge. The Galra don’t own you, _no one_ owns you.” She blinked up at the Champion who had called himself _Shiro_. He spoke calmly, his arms outstretched as though he was trying to tame a wild animal. “Trust me, I know you’re confused and you don’t know what’s going on. But speaking as someone who has gone through as similar experience, it’ll be okay. We can help you. Trust me, we can explain everything.”

She eyed the Champion. _How can I trust you? I don’t know you._

Champion. [ **cham** -pee- _uh_ n]

Noun.

  1. A person who has defeated all opponents in a competition or series of competitions, so as to hold first place
  2. Anything that takes first place in competition
  3. An animal that has won a certain number of points officially recognized shows
  4. A person who fights for or defends any person or cause
  5. A fighter or warrior



Verb.

  1. To act as champion of; defend; support
  2. To defy



Adjective.

  1. First among all contestants or competitors
  2. First-rate.



“You’re the Champion. That’s what she called you, right?”

An odd look crossed over the Champion’s face. He nodded curtly. “I am.”

“They told me about you,” she couldn’t contain the wonder in her voice. “They said you escaped _her_.”

“I did.” The Champion’s voice was strained.

She examined him. His guarded stance, ready to leap into action if need be. His eyes were hopeful and sad, his lips pressed together in a tight line.

“I’ll listen to what you have to say then,” she said, unable to keep the words from coming out of her mouth. She was surprised to find she didn’t regret them. “But that doesn’t mean I trust you.” She shifted her gaze around the room and landed briefly on her doppelganger and the man who looked like her doppelganger. The pair were standing close together. She moved her gaze around the room and back onto The Champion. “Any of you.”

“Okay, that’s fair,” The Champion said calmly. “Sit, it’s a long story.”

She sat cautiously at the edge of the soft seat, muscles ready to spring into action, to run, at any second.

The Champion knew better than to ask her to relax.

“Firstly. Your name’s not ‘Prisoner.’ It’s Pidge.”

Her doppelganger cleared his throat. “Actually, it’s Katie. Pidge is a nickname.”

Prisoner blinked.

“Right.” The Champion ( _Shiro_ ) agreed. “You come from Earth, just like me, Lance” he pointed to the owner of the laugh, “Keith,” he pointed to man in red, “Hunk,” he pointed to the man in yellow who sent her a small smile, “Matt,” he pointed at her doppelganger, “and Samuel,” he pointed to the doppelganger’s look-a-like. He paused, but she didn’t say anything.

There was something familiar about their story as she listened to it unfold. Could they be telling the truth? Was she really a rouge hacker who had hacked into her planet’s military systems? Was she really part of _Voltron_? The hope of the universe? The only thing that the Emperor had ever seemed afraid of? Were these people really her _friends_? Her _family_? Could she really trust them?

And how they said she had ‘died’ made sense. The purple energy, the pain, the falling. Waking up to Haggar with no memory.

Prisoner sat quietly throughout the story, folding her hands in her lap and training her eyes down.

_Katie ‘Pidge’ Holt._

_Pidge._

It _did_ sound familiar. Maybe.


	14. The Garrison Trio III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trust and true friendship

She had to get used to being called Pidge. Prisoner knew this, and it was hard.

It hadn’t been hard to get used to being called Prisoner. She hadn’t known anything else.

But this was hard. This was hard because that was (apparently) her real name, because that was the only thing she was referred to on this ship, because it meant trusting these people and letting her guard down.

And “Katie”. Being called “Katie. That was rare. Sometimes the doppelgangers (Her brother and father) would call her that.

Prisoner didn’t want to get used to the friendly smiles, gentle words, and benign presents of the people on this ship. She shouldn’t.

She noticed that she was not granted free reign of the castle. She was always accompanied by someone. _Good. They shouldn’t trust her. She was dangerous._

Haggar was coming back for her She had to be. And then she’d be back in her cell. Back in the experimentation table. Back in the arena.

 _But the witch didn’t go back for the Champion_.

Prisoner shook the thought out of her head. She shouldn’t get her hopes up.

Currently she was sitting behind the woman with long white hair who had introduced himself Princess Allura. She was standing at the helm of the ship, piloting it, while the man with the orange moustache who had introduced himself as Coran was running around on a video stream yelling about something. He was a very eccentric man.

She caught the princess glancing at her now and then out of the corner of her eye.

_Good. Make sure I don’t go insane on you. Make sure I don’t start attack you. Make sure I don’t lose control._

Prisoner [ _Pidge_ ] looked back down at the small notebook in her hands. Apparently. she had kept a journal. She hadn’t opened it. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know what Pidge knew.

“Hey, princess.” Lance _the owner of the laugh_ and Hunk walked in, all smiles and forced relaxed walks. Most of the people in the castle walked like that around her.

“Hello Lance.” Allura said absentmindedly, swiping away at the holographic screen before her.

“Mind if we steal Pidge?” Prisoner forced her gaze up at the sound of her “name”. If she kept reminding herself to respond to “Pidge” then maybe it would eventually come naturally.

“What are you planning?” Allura sounded suspicious, but still did not turn.

“We were thinking of showing her Green.” Hunk said, slightly nervously.

That got the princess’ full attention. She turned around and stared at Lance, who impressively did not fidget under her gaze.

“Oh, let them go, Allura.” Came the accented voice of Coran from the screen. “It should be good for Pidge’s memory! The two had a truly strong bond!”

The princess sighed, “Oh, alright. Go on.”

“Whooo!” Lance cheered, “Come on Pidge!”

Prisoner stood hesitantly, setting the notebook down carefully. She sent Allura a look, and realized everyone was watching her expectantly. Hunk sent her a warm smile.

Lance led the way to the hanger, opting to take the long way rather than the chute. Hunk lagged behind, walking in step with Prisoner.

Hunk was telling her about Green animatedly. She didn’t know why, but Hunk was the easiest to be around. He was nervous to be around her, just as she was to be around him, but was set on making her feel as comfortable as possible. She could appreciate that.

As they approached the doors, he said, with a smile spread across his face, “I’m sure she’ll tell you all of it anyway.”

“What do you-” The question froze in her mouth as she saw what was quite possibly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life, probably predating her memory lost as well.

The lion was huge and green. She vaguely remembered Hunk telling her that Green was the smallest, but now that she was seeing her, she found that hard to believe.

The large green-tinted bubble that had once encompassed the lion had begun to disintegrate. She thought she heard Hunk sigh in relief but wasn’t sure why.

Memorized, Prisoner took a few steps closer to the lion. That shade of green was the same shade that would sometimes flash before her eyes during her interrogations.

She carefully placed her hand on the cool metal that was the paw. The lion jolted to life, it’s joints creaking to as she bent down and unclenched her jaw. She was inviting her in.

Prisoner looked back to Hunk and Lance, as if asking for permission. They nodded encouragingly. 

She tentatively walked into the lion. The floor before her glowed green, leading her to the main cabin.

She sat in, what was presumably, the pilots chair. Even though this was the first time she was alone since she had awakened, she didn’t feel alone.

Suddenly images flashed before her eyes. Her eyes went wide as memories flooded her senses and her fingers clenched around the arm rests. She couldn’t identify exactly what was going in each of the memories, but she could feel the emotions as if it was all happening in real time. All at once.

She jerked back into reality, breathing hard. She wasn’t sure what had just happened. She didn’t regain her memory or anything, but she could feel a new pulse in her body. _Is this what the heartbeat of a giant mechanical cat sounds like?_

She set a hand on Green’s walls as she walked out. She understood now. Their bond. It had been strong. And it didn’t need memories to be strong again.

“Thanks.” She muttered. “That really helped.”

And it did. Because even though she didn’t remember this team, she at least knew she could trust this lion. And if this lion could trust these people, then maybe she could give it a chance.

As she walked out, she saw Lance and Hunk waiting expectantly. Prisoner studied Lance. _The owner of the laugh._ “So? How was it?”

Prisoner decided to test her theory.

“Do you laugh a lot, Lance?” Prisoner asked, careful not to look at Lance as she asked the question, walking down the steps of Green, eyes wandering around the large space of the hanger.

There was a pause before he answered. “Uh, yeah. I’m a total jokester, a laughing machine!” He laughed as if giving a demonstration, and Prisoner felt her heart flutter. It was still just like _the laugh_.

“Why do you ask?” That was Hunk’s voice.

She went to inspect the piles of paper, metals, and tools laying around. _These must be… mine?_ It had been weird to refer to Pidge’s stuff as her own. But now it felt oddly… okay…

She avoided the question with another one of her own. “How do I know you two?”

“We uh, we went to school together. We were on the same team.”

Prisoner nodded. “Were we a good team?”

She finally looked up, just in time to see Lance’s and Hunk’s sad smiles as Lance replied, “We’re not a team without you, Pidge.”

Pidge smiled back at them.


	15. Brothers and Sisters in Arms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The newest edition in Pidge's slow recovery, focusing on brotherhood, sisterhood, and the arms of Voltron. She's trying guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm really sorry buy I messed up with the last few update dates and accidentally backdated the last two chapters. So if didn't see the new chapters pop up you might want to go back. Sorry again!

Matt really, really, really wanted to talk to Katie. To hug her and reprimand her and tell her how _proud_ he was of her.

But Shiro had said they had to give her time. She didn’t remember any of them, and all of it was overwhelming to anyone with or without memory.

She sometimes caught him and their father staring at her. They had short conversations. She had been told that they were family, but that only made her seem more wary.

Matt knew his father was just as anxious to talk to Katie.

There hadn’t been a day that had gone by since they taken off for Kerberos that they hadn’t thought about her. That had been over two years ago.

Matt and Katie’s age difference was huge. His parents had dropped the bomb on him when he was 10. After a decade of being an only child he was getting a little sister. He could never bring himself to be resentful. He had been so excited, he wanted to show her everything he knew. His parents had warned him that while she was still young she wouldn’t be able to keep up with his ten-year-old mind, but Katie had risen to the occasion magnificently.

It was no secret to anyone that Katie was way smarter than she should have been. She was toe-to-toe with Matt by the time she was only 7. Matt had watched her for the first 12 years of her life and her work was extraordinary. But it seemed her best work had been done within the last two years when he was gone.

He was currently looking through one of her many notebooks, his father was next to him with another. Her thoughts were messily scribbled down as her hand tried to keep up with her overactive mind.

“Hey.” The two looked up. Katie was leaning against the doorway, arms crossed over her chest.

Matt scrambled to with the notebook. He wasn’t trying to hide it or anything, but he wanted to talk to her more than anything and that meant all distractions had to go.

“So…” She started awkwardly. She obviously hadn’t come in with any objective in mind. Katie used to do that a lot. Go to confront something or someone with no game plan. Her logic that your best ideas come on the fly. The old behavior was comforting. “I’m sorry I haven’t been to see you yet.”

“It’s fine, Katie. We understand.” Their father had said. And they did understand, but that doesn’t mean it was easy.

“Yeah, well… I was wondering… umm…” She toyed anxiously with her fingers, “Well, I’ve been reading these journals I kept. All of them take place after an event I refer to as ‘Kerberos’, but none of them are pre-Kerberos.”

She pushed off from the doorframe and walked into the room, sitting down in front of the two men without looking up. “I asked The Ch- Shiro about it but he said I should ask you…”

Matt sent a silent _thank you_ to Shiro for sending Katie their way.

“What do you want to know?”

“Let’s start with what Kerberos is?”

Matt couldn’t help but smile throughout his and his father’s stories. They varied in length and topic, from Kerberos, to baby Katie, to the time she almost blew up the house with her third-grade science project.

Katie’s face was covered in awe as she listened her life, her natural curiosity spilling over as she asked questions, and the Holt family grin spread across her face.

And that was oddly enough for Matt.

…

“So…” Pidge’s voice brought Keith out of his thoughts. It was the first time she was directly addressing him.

He and Pidge hadn’t been the closest on the team. Their relationship had started off shaky when she had her initial decision to leave to find her family. He had been really mad at her then, but now he wouldn’t hesitate to protect her with his life.

If you wanted to mess with Pidge you had to mess with Keith. And he knew that she would have done the same for him in a heartbeat before she had… went missing. 

He turned his attention to Pidge.

“Lance tells me we’re… arms?” Her voice quirked up at the end, betraying her nervousness. She was really trying to connect with the team again, and he knew it was really hard for her to learn to trust again. The least he could do was make it easier on her.

“Yeah, but don’t let Lance get to you. We’ve got the best positions.”

She sent him a small smile. “Why is that?”

“We’re the sword and the shield! Offence and defense! No one stands a chance against us!”

Pidge’s smile faltered and her eyes went wide. Sparks flew off her fingers tips.

Shit.

“Shit, shit Pidge, I’m sorry! Oh god, what do I do? What can I do? Should I get someone? Shit.” Of course he fucked it up, he was never a people person, which is why he and Pidge got along so well.

While she could keep up with the rest of the team’s exuberance fairly easily, she could more likely be found sitting in silence, typing away at her keyboard or tinkering with some machine. Keith often sat with her, the two taking comfort in each other’s silent company, Keith messing with his blade and Pidge messing with her tech.

“No, no, I’m fine, it’s fine.” She placed her now lighting-free hand on her chest as she breathed. “No, I was just remembering something. It happens, not your fault.”

Would he make it worse if he kept talking? “Was it from the time you were… gone?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” she flashed him a smile. “No, it was… forming Voltron?” Her grin was widening. “Forming that shield. It was… it was pretty great.”

Keith gave a quiet sigh of relief and smiled back at her.


	16. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Small snapshots of Pidge's recovery.

Slowly but surely, Pidge had begun to become re-accustomed to the team. Allura smiled as she watched her progress.

It was small things that they had previously taken for granted that Allura missed the most. She wasn’t sure how much Pidge remembered, but her behaviors were the same. Though slightly different.

Her smile that curled at the ends were now rare and few in numbers. Her little gadgets that used to lay comfortably here and there were neatly locked away in Green’s hanger. Her awkward nature was amplified in the sense where she used to be comfortable around the team, but now she was reserved.

Sometimes they would hear Pidge let out a tiny squeak, the reflection of lightening in her eyes as she stared at her hands, before she ran out of the room and hid for hours.

Progress was slow, but as Allura watched Pidge’s inquisitive eyes inspect the castle’s systems with wonder, she knew it was worth it.

…

“So, what’s with you and Lance laughing?” Keith asked, startling Pidge out of her work. She looked up to see everyone looking expectantly at her. Ah. So they had all noticed. Of course they did.

She looked back down at the device in her hands. “When I was… with the Galra, I couldn’t remember anything. I mean, you knew that already… umm…”

The tech in her hands blurred before her. She tightened her grip as memories of her time with the Galra flashed before her. A small jolt escaped her and she felt the device frizzle in her hands. Her breathing became more labored.

“Hey, you okay?” She wasn’t sure who had said that, maybe Hunk, but she pushed on.

“They… wanted information. Of a castle, this… this castle. But I couldn’t… I didn’t…” She swallowed. “I didn’t know anything, couldn’t remember. But they thought I was, um… withholding information.”

She didn’t dare look up. “So they tortured me. To uh, loosen my tongue.”

She was well aware that the team was tense around her. She could hear the _whirr_ of Shiro’s arm as he clenched his fist.

“And sometimes it would… trigger memories. Well, not memor _ies_. Just one. A laugh.”

She chanced a glance up to glance through her bangs. His mouth was slightly open in awe, horror filling his eyes.

“And, I don’t know. It was the one thing I had when I was there. Uh, and Lance was laughing when you guys broke me out and it was the same laugh. And it was like you said, if there was nothing before the Galra, how could I remember that?”

She let the silence sink around them as she continued to tinker with the device.

…

Shiro took a deep breath before rapping his knuckles against Pidge’s door.

“Pidge? It’s Shiro. I was wondering if we could talk?”

There was no response. Just as Shiro was about to leave, the door slid open.

Pidge’s head popped out. “Yes?”

Shiro smiled. “Do you have a minute?”

“Yeah, sure. Come in.”

It was a little unnerving how clean Pidge’s room was now. He hadn’t been in here often before _it_ happened, but Hunk had always said the only words for Pidge’s way of thinking was “organized chaos”. But Pidge had cleaned up, the only hint of her “organized chaos” was her workbench.

“So, what’s up?” Pidge sat on her bunk, look up at Shiro expectantly.

“I uh, I just wanted to apologize.”

Pidge blinked. “For what?”

“When you… died, when the Galra took you, it was my fault.”

To his surprise Pidge groaned. She fell back on her bunk, “And why do _you_ think it was your fault?”

“I- you- What?”

“You’re like, the third person to come in here and try to apologize for what happened. So, what’s _your_ reason?”

“I don’t know what you remember, but you were shot down. And then you fell over a hundred feet.” He watched Pidge close her eyes at his words, her eyebrows pinching together. Maybe she did remember. “And the reason you fell, was because of me.”

“Right, and Keith said it was because he wasn’t fast enough, and Allura said it was because she made me a ‘child soldier’. So, what could you have possibly done that would make it your fault?”

Shiro nodded, resisting the urge to look away. “I was having a flashback. From my time in the arena.” Pidge looked up interestingly, he knew that she knew he was the Champion, it was impossible for her not to have heard the stories. “Some Galra soldiers had me cornered. You decided to save me. And that meant you had to sacrifice yourself. So yeah, it was my fault. And I’m sorry.”

Pidge had gotten back up, staring at him with her wide eyes. She locked her gaze on him.

“Okay.” She said quietly. “I forgive you.”

Shiro was taken aback by this. “What do you mean you forgive me? You shouldn’t! I’m the reason for all your pain and suffering! I should have _done_ something to prevent all of this!”

“What were you expecting me to say, Shiro? Of course I forgive you. I know firsthand what Haggar’s treatment is like, there was nothing you could have done.”

She scanned at Shiro’s face. “Lance was in here earlier, he warned me you guys would all come in and blame yourself. Apparently Hunk thought you’d all moved on, but Lance thought that after you realized I am alive, you’d probably go back to blaming yourself.”

Shiro smiled inwardly. Lance knew people pretty well.

“Lance told me what happened. The flashback, the fall… I don’t want you to blame yourself, okay? I don’t think it was your fault at all. It’s the Galra’s.”

Shiro’s smile spread outwardly now, “That’s what your brother said too.”

“Yeah, I’ve been told we’re pretty similar.” Pidge smiled back. “So, if it makes you feel better, I forgive you for the thing that is definitely not your fault.”

Shiro grinned to himself as he left her room. She was recovering well.


	17. It’s Only Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, did you think that it was all sunshine and rainbows from here? Were you expecting more fluffy recovery? A happy team Voltron? No.

Pidge was feeling pretty good.

It had been three weeks since her rescue, and though everything was still a little shaky, things were going well.

She had flown Green every day this week. They had yet to form Voltron, but they had practiced with a lot of techniques and emergency measures.

She could now comfortably enter a room with any of the inhabitants of the castle. Their previously sad smiles whenever they watched her had turned into hopeful ones.

She had been showing real improvement, and was well on her way to moving on from this whole ordeal and becoming Pidge again.

So of course, _of course_ , things had to go to shit.

…It had started as an ordinary day. Pidge and Keith had just gotten back from doing a practice run with Green and Red and were now sitting in the dining hall, as Hunk tried to stuff them full of food goo.

“Okay, no. That’s disgusting.” Pidge pushed her plate away as Keith laughed. “I’m out. No.”

“Pidge!” Hunk protested as she kicked her chair back and stood up. “You need nutrients!”

“I am not putting that in my body, it’s _moving_!”

“Coran say’s it’s supposed to do that!”

“I’m with Pidge on this one, Hunk. That’s not natural.” Keith nodded.

“You can’t get more natural than this! It’s still alive!”

“Why are you trying to feed us stuff that’s still alive?!”

Pidge shook her head and tried to suppress a chuckle as Keith and Hunk argued.

She felt a slight tremor in the back of her head and yelped. _What was that?_

All eyes were on her. “You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I think s-” The tremor increased and Pidge suddenly collapsed, clutching her head, eyes squeezed tight shut, words useless on her heavy tongue.

“Pidge? Pidge what’s wrong?” Whoever was speaking sounded frantic. Maybe there were several of them.

She was sure there were hands on her, trying to get her to stay still, and voices asking her what was wrong. All she could feel was her own heartbeat. All she could hear was her own shallow breathing. Then-

_Lightning. Electricity coursing through her brain and sending fire to her veins. Lighting. Taking every ounce of her body prisoner. Prisoner. Lightning._

_Lightning. [ **lahyt** -ning]_

_Noun. A brilliant electric spark discharge in the atmosphere, occurring within a thundercloud, between clouds, or between a cloud and the ground._

_Verb. To emit a flash or flashes of lightning._

_Adjective. Of, relating to, or resembling lighting, especially in regard to speed of movement._

She gasped as the pain faded away. She was lying on the floor. She felt hot and sweaty and her breathing was coming in heavy pants. There were voices speaking incoherently around her.

Her head pounded. She could still feel the remnants of the tremor, like a ghost in the back of her skull.

The black disappeared from her vison and revealed the blurry faces of her team as she opened her eyes.

She blinked. Her eyelids felt heavy. She shook her head and felt hands on her shoulder, arms, and back, helping her to sit up.

She shook her head again to get rid of the buzzing. The electricity. The pain. Urgent voices came into clarity in her ears.

“Katie?”

“What was that?”

“Pidge, are you alright?”

She looked up at them owlishly. For a moment, she forgot where she was, what was going on.

She blinked.

“…What…What happened?”

A collective sigh of relief.

“Your guess is as good as mine.” Hunk said, a nervous smile across his face. Coran (where had he come from?) helped her to her feet.

“What happened there, number five?”

What _had_ happened?

“It was like… like I was with _her_ again…” Her breathing was still shallow. She was scared.

“Let’s go to the med bay, we can scan that big brain of yours.” Coran said, and if Pidge had been more in the moment, she would have noticed his poor attempt at keeping his voice calm.

He led her to the med bay, careful to keep one hand on her back in case she collapsed again.

“Just a few ticks!” He placed a large dome over her head.

Then it happened again.

_The helmet. It had large electric receivers on the sides and poured lighting in while taking out knowledge she didn’t have, knowledge she didn’t know. Out, out, out. She had to get out._

Without realizing it, she grabbed the sides of the dome, ripped it off her head, and smashed it down against the floor.

“Pidge! Are you alright?” Through the blur of the tears she saw something coming towards her.

“No! No, stop please! Don’t touch me, don’t touch me!” She tried her best to curl away from whoever was trying to hurt her. “Stopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstopstop.”

_“Prisoner.”_

A voice. From somewhere. From someone. “Nononononono.” She didn’t mean to whimper. She didn’t mean to say it out loud. Was she screaming?

“-IDGE! Pidge! Can you hear us?”

She slowly unraveled her arms from around her head. She pushed the hands that were hovering round her away. As she sat up, she didn’t look up. She weaved her fingers into her hair.

“What’s happening to me?” Her voice was quiet and breathy. She meant for that to be just to herself.

“Pidge?” The call was tentative. They didn’t want to scare her. But she was _scared._

_“Did you think it was over?”_

She jumped in her seat. She finally looked up, looking around wildly. “What’s going on? Why is this _happening_?”

Lightning sparkled at her sides, jumping higher than it had in weeks. She was losing control.

“Pidge!” In a brave move, someone grabbed her shoulders to still her movements. She suppressed a scream, but squeezed her eyes shut and tried to pull back as far and the fastened arms would allow.

You need to talk to us! We can help! What’s going on?”

“Is _she_ here? No please I can’t handle… not again… please. _Please_.”

“Who? Who is _she_?”

“I knew I shouldn’t have… this was a mistake… please, no… _no_ …”

The voice in her head was back, clearer than last time. Definitely not a memory. Definitely not in this room. Definitely real. Definitely not a good sign.

_“Oh, dear Prisoner. It’s only just begun.”_


	18. There was Nothing Before the Galra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendship!!! Communication!!! Teamwork!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In an attempt to make up for the month that I was away (school was brutal), here is a slightly longer chapter to enjoy!

Haggar. The witch.

Pidge _knew_ she shouldn’t have gotten comfortable. She _knew_ she wasn’t truly free. _Knew_ that _she_ would come back to her.

_Why had she been so stupid?_

Now she was putting the lives of eight other people at risk. Her life was not even close to worth _any_ of theirs.

There was only one thing Pidge could do.

There was no way in hell she would give herself back to that monster, and there was no way in hell she would continue to put these people in danger. She had to leave. _Run_.

_She remembered ever detail as if it was all happening at this moment._

_Haggar’s yellow eyes. Her smirk. Her voice. Her claws. Her magic taking her prisoner in her on mind. The lightning that shot from her hands._

She had locked herself in her room, pacing up and down while trying to think of a plan. They wouldn’t just let her leave. They didn’t know what was at stake. She had to go.

There was a knock at the door.

“Pidge, come out please. We can talk about this.” Shiro. He was always worrying about her, she knew he still blamed himself for what happened, even when she insisted it wasn’t his fault. No doubt that the rest of the team was out there too.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” There wasn’t. She was going and they wouldn’t stop her. “This was a mistake, I shouldn’t have stayed here.”

“Pidge, we can help, you just have to talk to us.”

“Yeah Pidge, trust us!” _I can’t trust you. I shouldn’t trust you._

“She can’t do anything to you while you’re here.”

That comment pushed her over the edge. She stormed over to the door and slammed it open. Her team was staring at her with wide eyes, surprised when she was suddenly in their faces.

“No!” She spat. “You don’t understand! She is capable of so much more than just some lighting. Her mind games… her torture… it’s like nothing you could ever imagine!”

“Pidge, I was her prisoner too, her experiment. I understand-”

“But you don’t remember it!” Pidge exploded. “You don’t remember what she did to you! I do! I remember every second of it. You just can’t understand.”

She looked fiercely into Shiro’s eyes. They betrayed his surprise and fear, contrary to the calm that had settled over the rest of her features. She felt a little guilty for snapping at him. She was just making matters worse, better to just rip the bandage off quickly.

“She’s in my head, Shiro. She never left, she was just waiting.”

She looked at each of their face’s fiercely.

“I will not put you in any harm’s way.” She looked around to the rest of the shocked team. “Any of you.”

She took a deep breath. This one would hurt. “I’m going. Leaving. None of you ever saw me, understand? I was never here, before or after the Galra. If anyone asks, you never knew me well enough to come find me. As far as you know, _I fell_ , Pidge Gunderson… Katie Holt… she died that day.”

The team cried out in distress at her plan.

“Pidge! No! That’s a terrible idea! That’s not even an idea, what are you _thinking_?” Allura pushed forward. “We can help you, you know that.”

“I’m leaving and I’d like to see you stop me.” Pidge bolted forward, the team taking a cumulative step back in surprise and she surged towards them before racing past and out of sight. They began to pursue her, but she was faster and she had a head start.

She pushed herself faster, she was worried that Keith would catch her. He was rash, agile, and when properly motivated could definitely take her down.

She could hear footsteps behind her. She headed straight for Green letting the footsteps follow her, and then sharply turned down the next corridor. She heard the footsteps come to an abrupt stop, as well as a slam and a few different grunts as they hit the doors of the hanger. However, there was still a pitter-patter of feet trailing her.

There was no way she would take Green. If she was going to hide, hiding on one of the most wanted ships in the galaxy wouldn’t help her at all. She headed for the pods.

She didn’t stop for a second, adrenaline pumping through her body as she began to prep her pod, her heart pumping in her chest so fast it made her fingers shake as she tried to rewire the tracking device.

She didn’t hear the footsteps stop until heard a voice sound from behind her.

“Pidge, think about this _please_.” Keith had caught up.

“I was broken apart and pieced back together into a _weapon_. Do you think _you_ can stop me?” She began to put in coordinates. Far away from both the Galra empire and the Castle of Lions.

“She’s after me. If I don’t go she will hurt you. If I stay she will find me. She could make me hurt you. She will find you. She will kill you. And is she doesn’t kill me… No, I won’t let any of that happen.” She tried to get her fingers to stop trembling.

“Pidge, we’re a team. Haggar will have to go through all of us.” That was Shiro, which meant the others would be here soon.

“You don’t _understand._ ” She took her fingers off the console, her work done. She tightened her fist in a futile attempt to stunt the lightning trying to fight its way out. She hovered her fist over the door button, about to shut it and eject.

“No, we might not know what you’re going through. You have to tell us that Pidge. We’re your friends. We’re here to help.”

Pidge didn’t answer.

“We can help you Pidge. Let us.”

Pidge turned around. There was a wild look in her eyes. “There’s no helping me.”

She took another deep breath, her chest felt tight. _There was nothing before the Galra. There was nothing before the Galra. There was nothing before the Galra._

She couldn’t breathe.

_She had never been to the castle. She had never meet these people. There was nothing before the Galra. There was nothing before the fall._

“There is, you just have to trust us.”

 _A laugh. High and happy, filled with_ obnoxious _joy._

“You… You don’t understand!”

_They can’t understand._

“Then make us understand!”

She swallowed her throat dry. There was nothing before the Galra. Nothing…

_"You said you recognized me. How could you have remembered me if there was nothing before the Galra?"_

Her hand moved away from the door button.

“Look, I know that communication is hard and that you think you’re doing what is best for the rest of us, but that’s not how being a part of a team works.” She blinked and suddenly Shiro was crouched in front of her, his hand resting reassuringly on her shoulder. “We can do this together.” He gave her a small smile that she couldn’t reciprocate.

…

“Pidge,” Shiro tried to keep his voice calm.

She was on an edge again. _Something small and green was standing on the edge of the over-a-hundred-foot drop. The green thing had three glowing purple holes in it, and then the green thing was no longer standing. The green thing was falling down over the ledge down, down, down into the over-a-hundred-foot drop._

 If she fell, he wouldn’t be able to get to her, just like last time. “We’re a team. We make decisions as a team and we work together.”

“You’re a part of this team Pidge,” Allura chimed in. “You need to communicate with us.”

“Yeah Katie-Cat,” Matt smirked, internally terrified of losing her again. “What’s important to you is important to us.”

She sucked in a deep breath and sighed. “Look. I get it. You guys think that you’re all going to help, you think we’re going to find a way to stop her, and find a way to ‘fix’ me. You guys think that everything is going to turn out all right and we’ll all live happily ever after. But _that’s not how things like this works!_ ”

“Pid-” Shiro began to try to placate her, but she cut him off.

“No. No, this isn’t something people could come back from. I shouldn’t even _be_ here now. No. This is my burden, I will not put any of you in danger-”

“No way, Pidge.” Hunk cut in. “No, we’re a team! And we’re not a team without you.”

_“We’re not a team without you, Pidge.”_

She sucked in a deep breath and looked around at the people who she trusted. She did trust them. They had taught her to trust again. To love, to laugh. They were the hope for the universe. They couldn’t be wasting their time on her. They could survive without her.

“You guys have done so much for me. Let me do this for you.”

“Do _what_ exactly? Huh?” Keith challenged. “Sacrifice yourself?”

“You wouldn’t be doing us any favors, Pidge.” Lance agreed.

“Pidge, this isn’t the only way.” Shiro said calmly. “We can think of something. We’re a team. That means we work together.”

She narrowed her eyes.

_They don’t get it._

_Maybe they mean it?_

_No! You’re a burden and you’re going to put them in danger!_

_They wouldn’t work this hard on getting me to stay if they didn’t care._

She shut her eyes and exhaled slowly, clenching her fist again. “Then what do you suggest?” She finally said.


	19. There Was No Way Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Paladins can't catch a fucking break.

“Then what do you suggest?” Pidge relented.

There was a short pause. They really had their work cut out for them.

Then a grandiose smirk slowly began to spread across Lance’s face.

“Well, I’m glad you asked.”

…

This was not going to work.

Pidge groaned as Green took another hit before swiveling the lion around to take a shot at her attacker.

When Lance had pitched the idea to the team, they had been pumped, overly confident, and maybe just a little desperate. She hadn’t even considered she wasn’t well trained on piloting yet, or they still couldn’t form Voltron, which she was regretting now.

The latter fact, that they couldn’t form Voltron, quickly made Lance’s intricate plan of “absolutely wrecking” Haggar’s fleet fall apart.

“Lance!” Keith yelled into his com, and Pidge turned her head to watch Blue spiral away before hitting one of the thousand swarming Galra pods, causing a domino effect of pods crashing into other pods.

Blue shook her head and shot off to Red, freezing a pod that was hot on her tail.

“Guys!” Hunk yelled, “Just calling this out, a suggestion, but do you think we should maybe, I don’t know-” A shrill scream from Lance’s end cut Hunk off. Hunk shot Yellow out of Blue’s path and promptly smashed into Shiro.” “Uff, sorry. Should we… Retreat?”

“What? No!” Lance yelled, “We’ve got this!”

“No. We don’t.” Keith ground out as he shot out another Galra.

 “Sorry Lance,” Shiro said. “Next time.”

Lance groaned. “Fine. Fine.”

“Let’s regroup and head back to the castle-”

Shiro’s voice faded out of Pidge’s hearing as she felt an odd prickling sensation on the back of her head.

Something flashed in the corner of her eye. She turned her head and froze.

She hastily looked around to her team, feeling the ache of her lungs trying to breath despite the fact that her throat had closed.

They hadn’t seen her yet. But Pidge had. She could see the glow of her yellow eyes from here.

She slowly rose her arm, pointing a long, sharp, crooked finger directly at her.

“Guys…” She cut of Allura in the middle of a command she wasn’t listening to.

“What is it, Pidge?” Allura’s regal voice sounded distant, though she knew the sound was coming from the com device in her ear.

“Holy crow!” Another muffled voice she couldn’t identify. “What is _that_?”

The voices began to drown in the blood pounding in her ears. She couldn’t tear her eyes away from the figure standing ominously atop the ship.

Her breaths came out short and fast, her vision blurred and her eyes began to water.

All of a sudden, a Red blur shot across the dark screen of her vision. She shook her head, a little confused as a Blue, then Yellow, then Black blur followed the first. Pidge was brought back to the present and watched in some sort of awe as her team created a blockade around her; between her and the witch.

_She was screaming. All she could see was the yellow glowing eyes. But she could feel. She could feel everything. The claws, the needles, the lightning. An odd humming spreading through her. She could feel the air around her and the rawness of her throat and the prickling of each inch of her body._

_There was no way out._

She watched in a dazed reverie as she watched her team try their hardest to take the witch on.

_There was no way out._

“Paladins! We need to wormhole! Now! The castle doesn’t have enough energy to hold the defensives and wormhole later!”

 Here was her chance, maybe her only chance.

Pidge’s fingers began to fly across her keyboard. Taking advantage of the low energy on the castle, it was easy to work her way through her the castle systems and gain access to the main controls

“Pidge?” She glanced over to where Lance was waiting just on the other side of the portal, the other lions, while already well across, had their heads turned towards Pidge at Lance’s call.

“Come on Pidge! We have to go!”

She took a deep breath and pushed the tears back, her eyes unblinking as she stared at Haggar atop the ship. She spoke into her coms.

“Guys? I just want to say that… I just want to say thank you. I… a-and… and I love you guys.”

“PIDGE-” She saw Black dart towards the closing wormhole, she saw on her screen that Allura was now pulling energy to keep the wormhole open.

“I’m sorry!”

She grit her teeth as she overrode Allura’s command, slamming the wormhole shut just before Shiro reached it.

The silence was defining. Still breathing hard, Pidge slowly turned Green around, resting a shaking hand on the console. She wasn’t sure if was a gesture to reassure her lion or herself.

“Okay Green,” She whispered. “If anything… goes wrong… just put up your force field as fast as possible.”

Later, she would swear that the mechanical cat purred, the electric hum that was produced filled her with a strange warmth.

All too soon it was over, and a blast of lightning hit the side of Green with massive force. Pidge let out a cry as she was thrown from her seat, hitting her head and groaning.

_There was no way out._

…

Shiro had watched in horror as the portal closed, framing Green as it closed. Green who, encased in her damaged metal shell, protected Pidge.

 “Pidge?” Lance’s voice had ringed through the silence, though his voice quitter than Shiro had ever heard it.

“What’s going on?” Hunk’s panicked voice had buzzed in, “What was that?”

“What just happened?” Keith’s voice had cut through the coms.

Shiro had to wrench his eyes away from the spot where Green had been, where the wormhole had been, where Pidge had been.

_Where Haggar had been._

They now stood at in the control room of the castle. He was facing Allura, who looked tired and worried.

“What happened out there?” He tried to keep his voice level. He was angry, but he wasn’t angry at Allura.

“I… I don’t know… I was trying to keep the portal open, but it just… well it closed early. Coran and Matt are down in the engine room now. We shall see soon.”

“How much energy does the castle have now?” Keith wasn’t looking at either Shiro or Allura, in fact, he was looking at a wall, his arms crossed and his eyebrows furrowed.

“Not enough for another jump. We’ll need time to replenish…”

Keith’s scowl deepened.

The air was more somber than when they had thought Pidge had died, and that was saying something. The fact that they knew she was out there now. Alone. Suffering both physically and mentally. How she had cut herself off from them, sent them away, and sacrificed herself.

A screen crackled to life, and Coran’s head popped into view. “It seems someone overrode our castle systems when we were diverting all power to holding the wormhole. They slipped right in and had as much control over the wormhole as Allura did.”

“Not only is that a huge security risk, that’s how why the wormhole closed early.” Matt said slowly. Shiro could barely look at the pain on his friends face.

“You don’t think that… Pidge manually closed the portal… do you?” Hunk asked, wringing his hands nervously.

“Well it seems that’s exactly what happened.” Coran said, his usually jolly energy gone. “There are traces of her signature techniques in this code, and some remnants of energy that looks like it could’ve come from Green’s systems.”

“So she wanted this. After everything… she wanted this?” Sam Holt sounded almost betrayed.

“Maybe she thought she deserved it?” Lance said quietly. Everyone stared at him. “I mean, you saw her before! She was all ready to leave and stuff. I mean, she thought she was doing what was right, right?”

“Regardless of what happened,” Allura cut in, “Pidge is now in the hands of Haggar. And if Lance is right, she’s not in the right headspace.”

“Okay, so what do you propose we do?” Shiro’s voice was calm, though he definitely did not feel calm.

“The castle needs a few cycles to get back to top shape.” Allura relented, obviously uncomfortable that she couldn’t provide a better timespan. “We simply cannot go in until we’re ready.”

“What?” Hunk searched the faces of his team, “What? We don’t have a few cycles! Pidge needs us now!”

“As much as I absolutely hate to say it,” Matt said, very much looking like he absolutely hated to say it. “But the coming days will be inevitable. We have to wait. In that time we prepare. It is vital that we get Pidge as soon as is possible.”

The somber energy was suddenly gone and replaced by a frantic nervous tension.

Keith turned his head towards the group. “We track that fleet, the witch; everybody and anybody who could possible know Pidge’s whereabouts. We make a plan. We won’t mess it up this time. We get her back and we stop Haggar once and for all.”


	20. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A psychological fight for control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... another month passed... sorry. I'm convinced time doesn't pass during summer break though, it all just slips away.

Pidge blinked slowly, feeling Green’s unease and pain in the back of her head. She had sustained a lot of damage. Pidge, who had still been trying to get a feel for fighting in Green, had spent more time fruitlessly trying to avoid blasts than shooting during the battle.

She felt the last wisps of Greens strength shatter. She couldn’t help the scream that ripped from her throat as Haggar shot another bolt of lightning.

Green’s engines sputtered to a stop and they began drifting. She could hear voices but she couldn’t register if they were real.

Green was shaking, the pulse of electricity still pumping through her.

This wasn’t safe. If Green took any more damage they were screwed. For one thing, Green would be inoperable. For another, Pidge would be totally vulnerable. And if she was vulnerable Haggar would kill her. And then Green would shut down and the next paladin would be presented with a broken lion. Or worse, Haggar would get her hands on Green; _Zarkon_ would get his hands on Green.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered, stroking Green’s console carefully. She felt Green groan in confusion and pain. “I’m so sorry.”

She closed her eyes and pushed two buttons in quick succession.

Eject.

Particle Barrier.

She was fired out of Green like a cannon, and just made it out of range before the barrier surround her lion.

Her head suddenly felt empty as her connection with Green flashed away. The humming of Green’s systems that had become so familiar was replaced by her own quick breathing echoing in her ears.

Just before the shield sealed around the lion, she felt something shatter within her. A wave of intense sorrow and utter, utter betrayal from Green. It was heartbreaking. She watched Green’s eyes flicker as she let the emotion wash over her.

She held onto it. She’d never let it go. For the rest of what might be a very short life, she would remember that feeling.

She didn’t have long to stay in her reverie.

_I know what I’m doing._

_I know what I’m doing._

She watched as Haggar advanced towards her. She couldn’t move, dead in space. Even if she could, she knew from experience all struggle would be futile.

_It’s better off this way, less collateral damage. I know what I’m doing._

…

She couldn’t have been out long. She came to slowly, like she had been in a deep sleep, her body desperate for a few extra hours of rest.

She blinked sleepily. She tried to stretch her limbs and found that they were already stretched out to full their full length.

She knew this situation well. She glanced up to see the chain that was wrapped firmly around her, keeping her in place.

 _I know what I’m doing_.

She leaned her head back and waited.

She didn’t have to wait long.

…

“Hello dearest Prisoner,” The witch’s voice sounded like nails on a chalkboard, and it took all of Pidge’s willpower not to shudder. The druids that had come to ‘prep her’ instantly stepped back.

“How was your time…. frolicking with Voltron? I hope you enjoyed it. You won’t be leaving here again.”

“… Fuck… You…” Pidge panted through deep breaths.

Haggar laughed, and Pidge couldn’t stop the shudder that trembled through her body.

“Oooh I see that the Paladins put a little more _bite_ back into you,” The smile she gave Pidge was sickening. “Don’t worry, we’ll fix that soon enough.

 _Do your best, bitch._ She thought savagely. _I know what I’m doing and I’ll be damned before I’ll let you win._

_…_

Four days after they lost Pidge, they got their chance. A ping on a scanner that could or could not be a trap. They formulated a plan, a backup plan, and an emergency exit. By the time they got to the location, the ship holding Pidge was long gone.

_…_

_I know what I’m doing. This is for the best. I will not break. I know what I’m doing._

_…_

_“Hello child. Do you want to play?”_

_…_

A week and a half later, they got their second ping. They had enough time to set out a loose outline of a plan. Something that could easily be changed if an unknown variable made the rest of the plan fall apart. The pushed the castle’s engines to get to the location in time, but all they got was the tail-end of the tracked ship as it sped away.

…

_I know what I’m doing. This is for the best. I will not break. I know what I’m doing._

_…_

_“We’ll get that information out of you one way or another.”_

…

_I know what I’m doing. This is for the best. I will not break._

_…_

The weeks in between getting locations were quiet on the Castle of Lions. Nobody had anything to say that hadn’t already been said. They had work to do.

…

_I know what I’m doing. This is for the best._

…

_I know what I’m doing._

_…_

_I… I know… What I’m… What am I…_

…

_What am I doing?_

_…_

_“Just you wait kiddo, something tells me that you’re going to have your own crew someday and you’re going to fly with them to worlds so far away we can’t even imagine them.”_

…

The third time they got a ping, it was about a month after the portal closed on Pidge. All notions of making a plan had disappeared. They didn’t know when they’d get another chance. They didn’t know _if_ they’d get another chance.

…

_Where am I?_

_…_

_“You can’t keep me out! I’ll find the truth, I’ll never stop!”_

…

_Why am I here?_

_…_

_“I bet my bottom dollar you’re going to part of something that makes the whole universe sit up and take notice.”_

…

_Who am I?_

…

She was a killer.

She had killed hundreds. She had watched people to suffer so she could survive.

“Do you know what you must do now, Prisoner?”

She was a killer.

What made this situation… what made these _people_ any different?

“Yes. I do.”

…

A lone figure stood before them. They just stood there. Head down, arms straight at their sides.

For a moment, Shiro saw the new champion, the Prisoner, from that day in the ring.

The figure’s hands were suddenly engulfed in lighting. A heartbreakingly familiar voice croaked from her throat, raspy, rage-filled, and empty.

“You shouldn’t have come.”


	21. Laughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hahahahahahahahahahahahaha (this one isn’t funny.)

Hunk stared at Pidge.

There was a black hood obscuring her eyes, and the voice was raw and unfamiliar, the lightning laced the tips of her fingers were.

But he knew she was Pidge.

Shiro approached her slowly, Allura made a small noise on her end, whether it be of worry or warning, Hunk didn’t spend too much time thinking about it.

“Pidge… It’s okay, okay? It’s going to be okay.” Shiro’s voice was strong and unwavering.

Pidge didn’t show any indication that she heard him, her head still bent low.

They were standing in a wide hallway on the ship they’d been chasing across the galaxy. They had just breached the ship and had started running down a random hallway, Shiro shouting orders through their helmets.

Keith was the first one to stop running, causing Lance to smash into him. Lance (being Lance) had started telling him off when they noticed her.

She had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. A small figure staring ominously in the middle of the hallway who had not been there moments before.

Hunk was shocked out of his thoughts when Shiro was suddenly thrown back. Pidge still stood in the same place, her head still bowed but her right hand raised before her, her fingers outstretched and sparking.

“Shiro!” Keith spared Shiro a quick glance before launching himself at Pidge.

“Keith, no! Stop!” Allura’s warning feel upon unhearing ears as Pidge swiftly slid out of the way of Keith’s blind rage. He shot past her and she advanced upon a vulnerable Hunk and Lance.

“Woah!” Lance yelled, summoning his bayard with Hunk doing the same. They both aimed at her, to incapacitate not kill, but she was too fast. Too close. Way too close for their long range weapons to do anything.

She grabbed the top of Lance’s gun and yanked it out of his hands, throwing at Keith who was struggling to get back up after crashing. She grabbed Lance’s wrist, sending him a quick shock as she spun him around into Hunk, knocking them both down.

She then turned and was met with Keith’s face.

“Hiya, Pidge.” She leapt back and he swung his sword at her, jumping right into Shiro’s arms. He quickly moved to wrap his arms around her and restrain her but she slipped away, dodging another swing from Keith’s sword.

“Pidge!” Lance had scrambled up off Hunk, who was also pulling himself up. “Come on Pidge! It’s us!”

 _“I don’t think she can hear you!”_ Coran yelled through the coms. _“Or maybe it isn’t registering in her head.”_

“Well she has been gone for a month,” Lance huffed. “Who knows how much damage Haggar has done?”

_“Perhaps you should try getting through to her?”_

_“That just might work,”_ Allura’s voice entered the conversation. _“If you can remind her, we have a chance to either break through the witches harm, or shock her enough to bring her home.”_

So that’s what they did. They got their asses kicked by Pidge in the middle of the hallway, randomly yelling memories at her to try to jar her back to reality with Matt, Allura, and Coran shouting suggestions every now and then.

“Hey Pidge, remember that time we-”

“Pidge! What about that time you-”

“You can’t have forgotten that time Lance-”

“Guys!” Keith panted, “This isn’t working!”

“No,” A new voice echoed down the hallway causing everything to freeze. “It’s not.” 

Pidge was the first move, straightening her spine and lowering her head until she was in the same stance as she had been when they first encountered her.

The paladins slowly turned towards the new voice.

 Haggar stood where Pidge had, they could see her crooked smirk from the shadows of her face.

“You paladins have been quite the thorn in my side. This is my personal project, do you really think that I would let you just _ruin_ it?”

“ _Pidge_ is not your _project_ ,” Keith hissed. “She’s out friend and if you think we’re going to let you-”

“Let me?” Haggar’s high shrill voice made Hunk wince. “What makes you think you have any control over this situation?”

“I think,” Keith said, unable to keep the anger out of his voice and play it cool, “that you are scared of us.”

“And why would I be scared of you?”

“Because we got Pidge back before and we can do it again,” Hunk said suddenly. “And we _will do it again_. Over and over, no matter how long it takes.”

Haggar’s eyes narrowed and Lance snorted, sending Haggar an overzealous smirk. Hunk watched as Lance’s eyes widened slightly before he abruptly started laughing as loud as he could.

Shiro gave Lance an odd look, clearly trying to convey that _this is not the time and place to be laughing like that Lance._

Pidge’s body froze at the noise.

…

_Blue laughter that was pure mirth, loud and in your face._

_…_

_Red quiet laughter, if you weren’t listening you might miss it._

_…_

_Yellow cheerful laughter that almost never ended._

_…_

_Black laughter that was deep and rich._

_…_

_Pink light laughter, like a bell._

_…_

_Orange laughter that was jolly and ridiculously happy._

…

There was an odd look on Pidge’s face as she stood, she slowly turned around, her back to Voltron and as she faced Haggar. Lance stopped laughing as the paladins cautiously picked themselves up, creating a four person wall behind Pidge.

Haggar’s frown deepened, a curious look on her face as the two of them entered a silent standoff.

Pidge let her hood fall as she looked up at Haggar.

Haggar’s confusion turned to fury in less than a tick. Without another word the she shot a blast of lightning at Pidge.

Pidge screamed as she seized on the floor, Haggar’s glare filled with malicious intent as she bore more lightning down on the young girl.

“You ungrateful, little, _brat_!” She howled. “You worthless, filthy, _scum_!”

She let up the lightning briefly, allowing Pidge to gasp for air before kicking her in her already wounded side.

“I gave you everything. Power. Training. Purpose. So much time and effort _wasted_. You had so much potential,” she grabbed Pidge by the neck and lifted her over the head, looking up at her as the young paladin struggled and choked, grasping for anything to get her out of the grip.

“I see now that you are nothing. A lost cause. A weakness that I couldn’t eradicate lives inside you. So, if I must purge the entire universe of this weakness, I may as well start with you.”


	22. Free As A Bird (With Heavy Psychological Damage.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Badass warrior Pigeon.

“I see now that you are nothing,” The witch sneered. “A lost cause. A weakness that I couldn’t eradicate lives inside you. So, if I must purge the entire universe of this weakness, I may as well start with you.”

She dropped Pidge and prepared to finish her off, but Pidge began to speak.

“You can try,” Her voice raw and tired. “You can try, but you’re not going to control me again.” Pidge slowly rose from the floor, trying to get her breathing under control. “Never again.”

Pidge let the facade defeat and weakness roll off her shoulders, standing as tall as she could starring defiantly at the witch.

Quicker than lightning, she shot her right hand forward, throwing a burst of energy at her previous captor.

“I’m not going to let you _control_ me again!”

She threw a bolt out of her left hand, knocking Haggar to the ground.

“I’m not going to let you _hurt_ me again!”

Pidge’s entire body lit up as she pushed lightning out of her with both hands to keep Haggar pinned on the ground.

“I’m not going to let you hurt _them_ again!”

And then, as if she hadn’t stunned the team enough, pulled out her _bayard_ from under her robe, shooting it at a console next to the door at the end of the hall. It sparked and shorted out, opening the doors and revealing a gaping square hole.

An elevator shaft.

She rushed towards Haggar, jumping over her and slicing her with the tip of the glowing blade. She landed on the other side and shot the grappling hook forward again catching the witch her around the legs and then yanked them out from under the witch and towards herself.

She let the grapping hook disappear back into her bayard as she jumped over Haggar’s form speeding towards the elevator.

Haggar fell.

It was like some sort of universal revenge. Every action has an equal opposite reaction.

Pidge slowly stood staring at the doors of the empty elevator shaft as the witch’s echoing screech disappeared. She savagely yanked her bayard out of the wall. She turned towards her stunned friends and offered them a small, exhausted smile.

Lance was the first to speak.

“Dude… you were totally super saiyan back there!”

... _Three Weeks Later…_

Every morning since returning to Castle, Pidge woke up slowly.

The act of actually waking up was not slow; it was fast with a hammering chest and a scattered mind. A mind comprised of a mess of memories, tangled and knotted together like string. And every morning carefully sorted her mind out. Slowly unraveling each one and sorting them.

 _Chasing a dog across a large green field._ Katie’s.

 _A spaceship crashing down over the Garrison._ Pidge’s.

 _The dark figure of the witch approaching, the only light in the room crackling off her hands in flashed._ Prisoner’s.

And on it went until she had neat little piles of memories, even knowing that that night, nightmares would jumble them all back together again.

Today, when Pidge woke up, it took her five less minutes to untangle her mind.

To some that wouldn’t be much, but to her, it meant everything.

She got up and started towards the small bathroom across the hall from her room.

Pidge peered into the mirror before her. She could barely remember what she looked like before the incident.

It was a small memory. Small memories were usually inconsistent. She remembered long hair and she remembered short hair. She remembered glasses and no glasses. She remembered a bright smile and she remembered tears just barely being held back.

Now all she saw was scars. By now, all the purple and yellow bruises that littered her body were gone, giving the scars that marred her body a sudden clarity on her skin.

They laced up her arms, crisscrossing up. Some of them were from Haggar’s lightning strikes, and some of them were from her own.

There were light ones around her wrists and ankles from rubbing against restraints.

The worst were around her neck. Where Haggar’s grip had given her scars deeper than in her skin.

Her fingers ghosted over the scars before letting her hand fall.

When she was done in the bathroom she would make her way to the kitchen, humming an old song her mother used to sing to her.

She mostly kept to herself. She worked to fix Green, and people came to help her or talk to her. But mostly she was locked in paranoid thoughts.

_What had been Haggar’s endgame? What had she wanted?_

Pidge was fairly certain that Haggar hadn’t even wanted Voltron. Zarkon had never informed her to take the Green Lion at all. They left Green’s prone body, floating through the blackness of space, with the shield up for the rest of Voltron to find.

Why?

Because they specifically wanted _Pidge_.

For what? Yeah, they turned her into a weapon, they made her fight against friends and foes, but in the end, what were they going to make her do? What was their goal?

She remembered everything. She remembered the times before the fall and the times after and all the times in between. She made new memories every day, adding them to the cluttered pile of her mind. And it was overwhelming. The kind of overwhelming that made her want to curl up in a little ball and watch her life flash by.

And so that’s what she did. She curled up in a little ball and let her life flash by and she cried.

She reveled in her memories throughout the days on the Castleship. She didn’t want to tell anyone yet, and she knew that it was cruel. She knew that it was selfish, that they deserved to know, and the crestfallen look on each of their faces when they remembered what she used to be like reminded her of that every day.

There was a part of Pidge that wanted to be able to pull _herself_ together. She wanted to refuse any and all help because she could do it herself. She wanted to be completely okay and she knew that she _couldn’t do it by herself_ , but she didn’t want help.

 _‘Yes you do’_ a small voice in her head whispered. _‘Yes you do.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys... next chapter is the last one... are you ready?


	23. A New Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Though not all stories end neat and tidy, some of them have the pleasure of a happy. And that’s what counts right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it! The final chapter! Thank you to every single person who read this story and an extra thank you to each person who left a kudo, a comment, and or a bookmark!  
> So, all of the thanks to each and every one of you (yes you! Reading this right now!), and let’s get on with the FINAL CHAPTER!! (Beware for obligatory cheesy ending!)

Recovering the second time seemed twice as hard.

On really bad days, she could feel electricity sparking through her old wounds. Side. Stomach. Shoulder.

On really bad days, she saw nothing but lighting, felt nothing but lighting.

On really bad days all of her memories slammed to the front of her mind like a tsunami.

Today was a really bad day.

She lay in a pile of blankets and pillows, not bothering to sort her mind and memories out. She didn’t want to get up today. Didn’t want to put her brain together. Didn’t want to face the universe. Didn’t want to face her friends, didn’t want to put back on the mask because _no, everything is not okay._

So she lay there, curled up in a little ball and let her life flash by.

  _I can do this. I know what I’m doing. I can do this. I can do this._

…

To say the rest of the team was concerned was a severe understatement. When Pidge didn’t come down to breakfast on time, they thought nothing of it. Since her return, Pidge usually didn’t emerge until after everyone else had finished eating. It wasn’t until lunchtime when they knew something was really wrong.

The others followed Matt tentatively as they approached Pidge’s room. He knocked softly.

“Katie-Cat? You okay in there?”

There was no response, which was not unpredictable.

“Hey… I know this is tough and you need your space, but we’re always here if you need us.”

“We’re _all_ here for you.” Lance said, because he felt it was important that Pidge knew that.

The silence stretched before them with no response from the other side of the door.

Matt sighed, “Katie we’ll leave you alone if that’s what you want, but know you don’t have to. No matter what, we’ll always be here for y-”

Matt’s sentence was cut off by the _swish_ of an opening door and a small blur swiftly attaching herself to Matt, head buried in chest and arms wrapped around his torso.

Matt recovered in less than a second, wrapping his arms around his little sister and began to run his hand through her hair.

“You don’t have to do this alone, Katie. That’s why we’re here. We’re here to help you. Always.”

“Why?” Came the muffled reply, and Pidge sounded much smaller than he knew she was.

“Because that’s what family is for.”

“GROUP HUG!” Hunk bellowed abruptly as he gathered everyone into his giant arms.

It was a nice moment for a while, until-

“Watch it Lance!” Keith yelped as Hunk smushed Lance’s elbow into Keith’s stomach.

“You watch it!”

“Both of you watch it!”

“Shut your quiznak!”

Shiro pulled Allura and Matt out by their collars, a neutral expression that told them that he had seen this a million times before.

Pidge was furiously wiping her face, which was in vain as her was shaking with laughter.

Lance swung his arm wildly and caught Pidge’s face.

“Lance!”

“Pidge are you okay?”

“OhmygoshPidgeI’msosorryIdidn’tmeanto-”

“Hey!” She interrupted, and the three shut up and looked at her. She grinned. Her old grin. Her Holt smile. “Don’t start something you’re not willing to finish.”

Then she pounced.

Matt and Shiro shook with laughter as the watched the four paladins battle it out on the floor. Allura gave an exasperated laugh as Coran tried to bring order, but only gave the four a common enemy.

“Should we be… stopping them?” Matt gasped out, looking towards the princess.

“No,” she didn’t bother to hide her smile, though there was something sad hidden behind the glow in her eyes. “Let them be kids.”

Shiro quickly sobered up and shot a concerned glance out of the corner of his eyes. He crossed his arms across his chest and nodded slowly.

The three watched the four young paladins attack Coran, who was squawking something about ‘disrespectful kids’ and ‘face the full power of Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe’.

After a few happy moments, Matt frowned. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask.” Matt asked, glancing away from his sister and towards Shiro, his voice quiet and worried. “What did Haggar mean by Pidge having a weakness?”

Shiro didn’t move his eyes from the paladins. “Huh?”

“I was listening into that fight a few weeks ago… Haggar, she said that she had to ‘eradicate the world of weakness’. Weakness that Pidge apparently has. But I… I just can’t figure out what it is.”

He watched Shiro’s eyebrows scrunch together and he finally tore his gaze from the pile of chaos on the floor to look worriedly at Matt. Because what if there was damage they didn’t know about? What if Pidge was hiding something? Or even worse, if there was something going on even Pidge didn’t know about?

Pidge, who had been listening, fought her way out of Hunk’s noogie, brushed herself off, and faced her brother and Shiro, and took a deep breath. “Don’t worry,” she grinned a little. “Haggar saw only one thing as weak. She had to; because it was the only thing standing between her and her goal… between Zarkon and his own goal.”

Pidge shot her brother and Shiro another Holt smile, melting the worried expressions off their faces.

“She couldn’t stand the thought that she could be bested by such a minuscule thing.”

“And what’s that?” Shiro asked, an amused smile crossing his features.

Pidge grinned, she stuck out her tongue playfully. “Hope.”

…

Hope. [hohp]

Noun.

  1. The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best
  2. A particular instance of this feeling
  3. The grounds for this feeling in a particular instance
  4. A person or thing in which expectations are centered
  5. Something that is hoped for



Verb.

  1. To feel that something desired may happen
  2. To believe, desire, or trust.



…

Pidge smiled at her crew. Her friends. Her family.

Pidge knew a lot of things. But there were things she didn’t. She didn’t know what Haggar’s final plan would have been. She didn’t know if she would ever wake up with a fully untangled mind. She didn’t know what tomorrow would bring. She didn’t know what their own path would lead them to. Where they would go. What they would see. What they would do.

But she knew that here… with these people… here she was at home.


End file.
